Critique , please. The beat of seduction.?

Question:A haze in the air as I move across the room

I’ve set my sights

And he’s wrapped in satin and seduction

(I can feel the drum beat that isn’t there

The bass has gotten inside my head)

And he knows

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: A haze in the air as I move across the room

I’ve set my sights

And he’s wrapped in satin and seduction

(I can feel the drum beat that isn’t there

The bass has gotten inside my head)

And he knows

Oooh, this is fun, and suggestive. I'm not too sure about the beat though, I couldn't really feel it. I love the parenthetical whispers to the reader, especially the fifth line, I think it provokes a feeling that we can just touch, but not quite. The last line, gripping, and I feel like the lights go dark, the door closes, and all the clothes...well...come off.

Oo. It's a sexy little poem. I like it!

Why state that you can feel it if you know it isn't there. Poets these days...

The heartbeat that's increased, the arousal, the interest. A very nice beat and very seductive in it's flow.