How can I make this poem better?

Question:BIrds

Some birds fly, some birds don't.
Some birds are small some birds are big.
Some birds can sing, some birds cannot.
Birds, birds, birds
Birds can be hamrful, birds can be harmless.
Birds can talk, some birds cannot.
Birds lay little eggs, some birds lay big eggs.
Birds, birds, birds.
Birds can be beautiful and colorful.
Birds can be scary and dangerous.
There are a lot of different kind of birds with different habitats
Birds, birds, birds

Can you also check for grammars mistake, too. Thank you!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: BIrds

Some birds fly, some birds don't.
Some birds are small some birds are big.
Some birds can sing, some birds cannot.
Birds, birds, birds
Birds can be hamrful, birds can be harmless.
Birds can talk, some birds cannot.
Birds lay little eggs, some birds lay big eggs.
Birds, birds, birds.
Birds can be beautiful and colorful.
Birds can be scary and dangerous.
There are a lot of different kind of birds with different habitats
Birds, birds, birds

Can you also check for grammars mistake, too. Thank you!

It is a good poem for little kids, I suppose. It might not look good for older kids, but for young kids, I think that they'll enjoy it! Great job for that poem! =]

The grammar is OK :D

make it more deep in emotion and expression

um, maybe you should change the entire poem. it's terrible. sorry to tell you that, but it is.

birds, birds, the more you eat the more you turds

Make it suck less

Some of those things are kinda obvious. Maybe you should spice it up a bit.

haha
well ,
its kind of awkward
that you start off with
birds ... then go to some birds...
and the endings too long

Make a new poem, this isn't really a poem, it is more like sentences about bird facts. A poem is about feelings, like using a bird as a metaphor for something else.

Example:

A bird is like my soul, is soars through the sky.....

pick one structure for beginning a verse and use it throughout... it seems you use "birds can" a lot, so instead of the first lines saying what they say, instead say, "birds can be flyers, birds can be gliders, birds can be flightless. Birds can be small, or birds can be big."

Add this some birds can fly way in the sky but others cannot.

Umm, sorry but are you serious?
I think you would need to start over.

Birds

Some birds fly, some birds don't.
Some birds are small, some birds are big.
Some birds can sing, some birds cannot.
Birds, birds, birds.
Birds can be harmful, birds can be harmless.
Birds can talk, some birds cannot.
Birds lay little eggs, some birds lay big eggs.
Birds, birds, birds.
Birds can be beautiful and colorful.
Birds can be scary and dangerous.
There are a lot of different kind of birds with different habitats
Birds, birds, birds.

The above version is edited for spelling, and grammar, as well as punctuation inconsistencies.

The first thing I would suggest is reading it over and analyzing how the poem sounds and feels when you read it. Do the words flow how you wanted them to? Does the way you've phrased each line evoke the thought you intended them to? Then, consider a different way you could've written each line. Which do you like better? The new one, or the original.

This has good potential, good luck with it!
-Jack

I don't see any gramme mistakes, though I got caught up more in reading it than noticing gramme. Its really......trippy, I mean that in a great way, I can almost imagine some surrealist music to it.

I don't really like it. :( I'm sorry.

Make it more meaningful.

I did not really find anything wrong with the grammer but I noticed that your poem has some repition which is good. Maybe u should have found some things in it to rhyme. Other than this it sounds pretty okay.

What is this for?

Hey, good job. The only recommendation I would make would be to lines 9,10,and 11. The counterparts to lines 9 & 10 are each of the two lines above each of the first two"Birds, birds, birds. You broke your pattern there. Instead of
"Birds can be beautiful and colorful," you should say,
"Birds can be beautiful, birds can be colorful."
(and line 10 should read):
Birds can be scary, birds can be dangerous.
(Line 11?)
"Birds are so abundant, birds are so different."

Every line needs a period.

Wow – it needs work…

Try this:

Most birds sore but some birds swim.
Some birds tower but others cower.
All birds sing but some better then others.
Sore, tower, sing.

Some birds are hunters but others are hunted.
Birds lay eggs, some big some small.
Some birds can talk like us, others sound like, birds.
Hunt, lay, talk.

Birds are beautiful, some by being colourful.
Some birds are dangerous, buy most are friendly.
Birds are individuals with their own personalities.
Beautiful, dangerous, individual.