Please critique my hard work. It's called "Curse"?

Question:Curse

Sons of Adam bend your backs,
Raw and beaten by the sun.
Grunt, struggle, labor, and strive
Til sunset and work is done.

Sons of Adam bend your backs;
Wipe creased brow with calloused hand.
Sow your seed into the wind-
Scattered dreams across the land.

Sons of Adam bend your backs;
Plunge your spades into the crust.
Toil until your lives are spent-
Weary, now return to dust.

Sons of Adam bend your backs;
Let the earth sift, hard and dry.
'Cross the barren field of burdens
Fallow aspirations lie.

-swoosh

Critiques/ Comments Please?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Curse

Sons of Adam bend your backs,
Raw and beaten by the sun.
Grunt, struggle, labor, and strive
Til sunset and work is done.

Sons of Adam bend your backs;
Wipe creased brow with calloused hand.
Sow your seed into the wind-
Scattered dreams across the land.

Sons of Adam bend your backs;
Plunge your spades into the crust.
Toil until your lives are spent-
Weary, now return to dust.

Sons of Adam bend your backs;
Let the earth sift, hard and dry.
'Cross the barren field of burdens
Fallow aspirations lie.

-swoosh

Critiques/ Comments Please?

This is one of the best poems I have read in a long time. As they say, if it ain't broke don't fix it. The genius of this poem is in the ever-changing referent from simple physical labor to the totality of a person's life.
As for myself, when I read the story I figured out that if I see someone working then I know he's done something wrong. That's why you'll never catch me working.

It's interesting.
I can picture a lot from reading it.

I think it's good.
I like it. Love it's meaning.
Nice work:)

It's beautifully written, I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Maybe because we have a basic philosophical difference in that I don't believe that life is a curse at all and so this particular piece doesn't really speak to me much, sorry :O(

It's still well done though.

that flows if u kno wat i mean. beautiful. i luv it. mite wanna patent it somehow, or sum1 could jack it. keep writing! *o*

"Curse" is a masterful work that definitely demonstrates your hard work. Certainly one of the best poems I have read in a while. With astounding imagery that speaks universally, you have created a truly outstanding poem. Thank you.