| Question Home |
Position:Home>Poetry> Any comments or thoughts?Question:Haunting Tears Her cries scream with rage in the night hours Yet no one seems to hear. A runaway living on the streets She died alone in darkness that night, no one ever noticed. She was only fifteen when she died Her grave is unnamed in the cemetery, Jane Doe 22. Her parents have never had closure They still hope she will return home. Last night was the tenth anniversary of her death The stroke of midnight he woke. There she was waiting for his awakening Her haunting tears, he gently wiped dry as he listened. Her tale was such, her tears kept falling Her tortured soul has not rested, the horror still holds strong. Dawn was setting in as he wiped her final tear Final retribution was needed. Her cries scream with rage in the night hours Alone in darkness she died that night. Her tortured soul, her haunting tears She was a runaway, no one ever noticed. For ten years she has waited and has finally been heard Before nightfall her torture would be over. Her grave flourishes with flowers now Samantha’s tears haunt no more. ? Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Haunting Tears Her cries scream with rage in the night hours Yet no one seems to hear. A runaway living on the streets She died alone in darkness that night, no one ever noticed. She was only fifteen when she died Her grave is unnamed in the cemetery, Jane Doe 22. Her parents have never had closure They still hope she will return home. Last night was the tenth anniversary of her death The stroke of midnight he woke. There she was waiting for his awakening Her haunting tears, he gently wiped dry as he listened. Her tale was such, her tears kept falling Her tortured soul has not rested, the horror still holds strong. Dawn was setting in as he wiped her final tear Final retribution was needed. Her cries scream with rage in the night hours Alone in darkness she died that night. Her tortured soul, her haunting tears She was a runaway, no one ever noticed. For ten years she has waited and has finally been heard Before nightfall her torture would be over. Her grave flourishes with flowers now Samantha’s tears haunt no more. ? It is very haunting. You have been succesful in conveying the dark and oppressive atmosphere. It is very sad to know how nobody ever bothered about her and she died unnoticed. But her soul cannot rest until she had told her painful life story to someone, which she does at the end. May her soul rest in peace now. A very well written poem. this is like a prose..not poetry, sorry.. I do like it, but it might be a bit better if it rhymed, not to offend anyone. Not bad, not bad at all. I like it. A nice little tale, and very well story based. Each set of lines held its own chapter fo the story. A great beggining. I liked it when it got to Jane Doe 22. Details like that are important! When you made it to the end with giving her a name (not knowing if this is based on reality or fiction) it was a great move for a closing line. Although, I believe it could've used a little rhyming as well. It had the kind of swing to where you could just feel a rhyme coming, but it never did. Anyway it goes, no edit is needed. As any poet would tell you, when you have completed it, don't touch it, you are not supposed to put to much thought into this stuff. It is supposed to fall out of your mind. Keep it as is. i did like it. nice. she was unnoticed. poor soul. star 4 you thanks Joann. more please? Good job, very haunting |