Do you like this poem ?

Question:Gently she rises
Gently she stirs
My heart remains with her
When darkness falls
She reminds me of ancient wisdom
Tattooed with love
Signs & symbols
I am a guided star
Ripening
in her soul kitchen
Her feather of soft breeze reply
Sweet cherish smile
Pearls of wisdom
Flames of heat
Love in her dark eyes
Heaven winged angels
Bold & free
We met at a chapel
Where mission bells rang
Street bands playing
Lazy Sunday
Midnight moon
Caribbean winds
Sea breeze blowing

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Gently she rises
Gently she stirs
My heart remains with her
When darkness falls
She reminds me of ancient wisdom
Tattooed with love
Signs & symbols
I am a guided star
Ripening
in her soul kitchen
Her feather of soft breeze reply
Sweet cherish smile
Pearls of wisdom
Flames of heat
Love in her dark eyes
Heaven winged angels
Bold & free
We met at a chapel
Where mission bells rang
Street bands playing
Lazy Sunday
Midnight moon
Caribbean winds
Sea breeze blowing

especially the first half is good. i like the dissociation of the images, i think it works well. however, be careful with the cliches. flames of heat (all flames are technically hot, aren't they?), pearls of wisdom, heaven winged angels, my heart remains, - i do love some of the other images. ripening in her soul kitchen, interesting construction. if the repetition of "breeze" is intentional, i don't see the reason you're doing it. maybe change the earlier "breeze" line to "her feather reply" (feathers are soft and, i guess breezy, so no need to say it) anyway, this is a good draft and i hope you'll work on it some more. could become a strong poem.

no, sr :]

I think it's ok. If you just change it a bit it could be pretty good.
Nice:)

You need to try to tie the imagery together...so I can follow it.

This is the sleaziest poem I have ever read.

"Ripening in her soul kitchen"
"Her feather"
"Pearls...flames"

I get your innuendo, buddy and I am outraged. Shame on you. This is pornography.