I wrote this poem. What do you guys think?

Question:State of Matter

Corruption from grounds,
as from rain,
Sounding beat of foul feints,
as of gale,
Bastard rule,
Clustered fragments,
of the star slain state.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: State of Matter

Corruption from grounds,
as from rain,
Sounding beat of foul feints,
as of gale,
Bastard rule,
Clustered fragments,
of the star slain state.

Sounds like you made a *amn good poem about China and Tibet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm all for Tibet....and this poem...good going, gal!!!!

HELLO
CLUELESS
AND ?
POEMS HAVE MEANING
AND FEELINGS
BEST
FRANK

No need to add a comma every after line. Unless you're trying to improve the flow, adding commas are useless.

You are very brave to put something uniquely your own out there for the Internet community to examine and possibly criticize.

Nice poem, but could you explain what it means??

Have a nice day =)

I'm wondering if i should call it an extended haiku, but I don't know if it has the juxtaposition of a haiku. In any case, I don't think you intend it to be, and you need to write more in your poem. Don't listen to whoever said poems always have to show feeling and emotion, poetry is a way of expression, express what you want to not what some online guy thinks.

~sig~
7 days without soccer makes one weak

What??? It makes no sense to me. I thought I knew English, but I might be wrong.