Do you like the 'feel' of this poem?

Question:I

Now and then sweeps the cool breeze, anew
The wandering fog is restless
No matter soon it'll settle down
Condescending in the drops of dew

A small bird nestles up a tree here
Do you see below it,
Laying a brown terrier
dreaming of a straw
about to fall on his
grumpy, and
side to side wagging tail?

II

Stops suddenly and laughs the tom cat
on its walk the Regal Majesty
and precedes toward the abandoned house
Laughs, at the forlorn brown ant
that tries lifting a butterfly so dead
And so overweight

III

Now, it is dusk

Wild sparrows call the sparrow friends
To come over the bushes, over the fence
when the old abandoned house closes its eyes
the half closed window panes

? Emran. All rights reserved

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I

Now and then sweeps the cool breeze, anew
The wandering fog is restless
No matter soon it'll settle down
Condescending in the drops of dew

A small bird nestles up a tree here
Do you see below it,
Laying a brown terrier
dreaming of a straw
about to fall on his
grumpy, and
side to side wagging tail?

II

Stops suddenly and laughs the tom cat
on its walk the Regal Majesty
and precedes toward the abandoned house
Laughs, at the forlorn brown ant
that tries lifting a butterfly so dead
And so overweight

III

Now, it is dusk

Wild sparrows call the sparrow friends
To come over the bushes, over the fence
when the old abandoned house closes its eyes
the half closed window panes

? Emran. All rights reserved

It seems to tell a natural story of dawn 'til dusk, and what happens in between, ie the terrier etc...
I really like the ending, that made it all work.
You can picture the old house with the half closed eyes.
Great comparison to the human psyche.
Keep going.

yea shockingly i did
i enjoyed it very much
thanks for sharing

yeah itz gud..!!

No.

I'm sorry but I don't think it's very good. It isn't entertaining and doesn't inspire any emotions in me.

wow...Amazing

eh.. its not my style.... but its not bad=]

Very well done, Emran! I did indeed enjoy your poem! I liked the feel of it. Like snuggling into a warm old sweater.

yea i enjoyed it very much....it had a some sort of familiar feeling to it which reminds me of something but i don't know what it actually is.....i liked it a lot...

Condescending = I think you mean condensating? if that is even a word....
condescending mean talking down to someone.

precedes = proceeds

sounds like the bird is laying down the dog... what? confusing.

otherwise, the "feel" of it all is earthy and appears to be you describing a portrait of nature. all good stuff but needs some work.

man its brilliant!!!!!!....i loved it
keep writing..you sure can be a good poet ; )

this is the weakest line

The wandering fog is restless
No matter soon it'll settle down
Condescending in the drops of dew

"condescending in the drops of dew"? do you mean descending? condescending is an entirely different word, and an extremely awkward usage here

imagery is very wide and expansive... i'd suggest further strengthening it and using it to the poem's advantage

cool

Good imagery. I'd change "it'll" to "it will." Also, no need to apologize for misspellings. That's what spell check is for.

Yes, I like the feel of the poem. In my mind I see some-one looking out of their window on a balmy summer's evening.
But, and there is always a 'but' I think you need to edit your poem more. I know that sometimes a phrase or a word comes into your mind and -quick - put it down in the poem.
But, then what I used to do is leave a poem and go and do something else. Come back and read it, and see where the weaknesses are.
The word you need for the first verse is - condensing into
I'm not sure I like your backward sentences, either - sorry.
Now and then a cool breeze sweeps in anew (see?)
I'm sorry, you can't have 'laying a brown terrier' even in a free flow poem. Do you see below? There lies a brown terrier (think of something more exciting than 'brown') - if he is wagging his tail, why is he grumpy?
An old alley cat laughs at the view.....link it to why he is laughing
Don't be discouraged by my comments, I am being quite harsh to make you look with a stranger's eyes at what you have created.
I think you have good ideas, but you need to do more to make them work to build a good poem.
ps thanks for your kind comments about my poem -

i like it , it moves along slowly but accurately. i can appreciate the picture you paint. nice work

This is another painting over canvas.