Hurry up, read my poem (Tick-Tock)!?

Question:Tick-

Hold
Each breath
Like
It's your last.
Fear
The future
And
Flee
From the past.
Look
In the mirror
And
Look in it fast-
This one
Small respite
is Time's repast.

-Tock

--swoosh

Critiques/ Comments?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Tick-

Hold
Each breath
Like
It's your last.
Fear
The future
And
Flee
From the past.
Look
In the mirror
And
Look in it fast-
This one
Small respite
is Time's repast.

-Tock

--swoosh

Critiques/ Comments?

I really liked the ideas and points in this poem, as well as how you applied them. Very creative. :)

It's terrific. So unusual and unique in structure and message. :O)

Haven't a clue what's going on with first poster CMF. I just personally think he's fussed up in the head.

Eh.

i looved it!\write more!

Didn't read it.

Advice?

Next time ask politely.

I REALLY LIKE IT! It's really good, but I think you should make it a little longer, but it's great!!! :)

i love it^^

its not the best

I like your use of words. Pretty short though.
Keep it up. <3

Amanda

Personally, I like it. Very fast-paced. The ending could use work, though. It's out of beat with the rest, and I don't really like the wording (of the ending, not the whole thing).

It's nice

Very good, just like it is. A!
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I think this poem is a very nice one. We should always act like it is our last day on earth, teaching people about Christ, being as nice as we can to everyone. We don't have to be sad and everything, but we should just try to be as nice as we can.

God Bless,
Eliana

poems can never be judged at least thats what i think there from the mind and soul and are one's deepest thoughts. you can have an opinion about them and my opinion is this one is deep and amazing

good, liked it very much

i think that is very true and we should all live by that poem

it was one of those fresh breather sorta poems, ya know? i personally liked it, but others may say it is "pointless". I love the simplicity of it.. good job :)

I like it. I think it's good.

i think its a really good poem!!!

The Tick-Tock bookend thing is a shameless gimmick...

...and it works. Makes the poem. The reader realized five seconds of their lives have just been spent, fed to time.

Nice, it was five seconds well spent.

Its short and sweet, i'd watch out for the lengths of your sentences and how it al fits together, cause i think that with that kind poem, it needs to be more harsh, and a bit less flowing, its really hard to explain what i mean, just take a look through it

WHEW! I'm in just under the wire, but you planned it that way of course. You sly devil.

why hold to some-thing
that won't last ?
a mirror
only will mirror
ones thoughts in question
of confusion

Moronistic ramblings of an idiot.