Please tell me what you think of this......?

Question:I just want to touch your face
to see through your eyes
the reflection of my face
fall into that sweet abyss
and forget everything else exists
what would I give for a moment like that
to hear your heart beat in your chest
with my head laying softly there
to finally feel safe and secure
wanting, wishing, to be more
To feel your lips touching mine
to taste the sweetness of your smile
to walk, with your hand in mine
these are the things
my dreams are made of
this is crazy and insane
but I can't help that I feel this way
I've gone to far to go back now
I don't know if, or when
but these thoughts will never leave my head
until the time when I can be
all I want to be for thee
I am patient, and I can wait
to see if the vindictive one
will not be fate
for once in my life something has to be
the way that I can see it to be
until then
I'll just dream my princess dreams
of you
and hope that they will all come true

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I just want to touch your face
to see through your eyes
the reflection of my face
fall into that sweet abyss
and forget everything else exists
what would I give for a moment like that
to hear your heart beat in your chest
with my head laying softly there
to finally feel safe and secure
wanting, wishing, to be more
To feel your lips touching mine
to taste the sweetness of your smile
to walk, with your hand in mine
these are the things
my dreams are made of
this is crazy and insane
but I can't help that I feel this way
I've gone to far to go back now
I don't know if, or when
but these thoughts will never leave my head
until the time when I can be
all I want to be for thee
I am patient, and I can wait
to see if the vindictive one
will not be fate
for once in my life something has to be
the way that I can see it to be
until then
I'll just dream my princess dreams
of you
and hope that they will all come true

Even if I were a critic it doesn't matter what I have to say
cause I know through your writing not only the rhyming but also the sensuality of the words, the feelings that you've felt before but yet didn't vividly express until you wrote this poem
To wrap it up for you innocently Beautiful...!

i like it its sweet

wow it's really good....

I think it's good up to the point of the 18th line. The changes in lines 18 through 23 below are a suggestion for slight change but are still just minor changes Overall, I think this is a great poem. The meaning is clear, it flows rather nicely, the reader has no difficulty or chugs in the presentation and doesn't feel forced. I really like it the feeling of it and the devotion expressed.

I've gone to(o) far to go back now
I don't know if, or when
these thoughts will ever leave my head
or there might be a time
when I can be
all I want to be for thee, but
I am patient, and I can wait

Do you have a title to it yet? I can suggest "Waiting".

wow thats real good.

i am a boy and those love poems never attracted my attention but that did

good job i like it

Good, concrete imagery, but it really needs some punctuation and capitalization to be more clearly understood. Otherwise, the sentences run into each other, and you have to backtrack to make sure you got the meaning right.

email me well talk

the only thing i don't like is line 22 "thee" just doesn't fit. other wise it's awesome

WOW. Very moving, you are a wordsmith.

Hi Andy,
I could of wrote that My self.. I feel the same way about someone I still Love very Much.. But Life gos on My Friend..
Beautiful and deep feeling I like it very much and you have earn a Star from Me..
A Friend,
poppy1

Your wish came true!!!

You started writing like Mek!!!!

It is so sweet and good!! :) xx

yes i like that andy and i don't know who or what mek is so i'll have to reserve judgement on that one