Another poem question-- anygood?

Question:I love the way
Your hair covers your eyes
I love the way
Your smile makes me sigh
I love the way
Your blues eyes smile
And the way
That I have to stare into them for a while

I hate the way
Your making me wait
I hate the way
We aren’t in the pattern of fate
I hate the way
im torn limb from limb
And the way
That ill never be him

im just really bored

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I love the way
Your hair covers your eyes
I love the way
Your smile makes me sigh
I love the way
Your blues eyes smile
And the way
That I have to stare into them for a while

I hate the way
Your making me wait
I hate the way
We aren’t in the pattern of fate
I hate the way
im torn limb from limb
And the way
That ill never be him

im just really bored

Not bad, but you since you use repetitive phrases (i love the way), you might try to have all the secondary lines (your hair covers your eyes) follow the same meter as each other (the same beat). You can change your rhyme scheme if you have to, but I think meter would help the poem to be more fluid.

maybe something like this:
I love the way
Your hair's in your eyes.
I love the way
Your smile makes me sigh.
I love the way
Your eyes seem to smile.
And the way
I have to stare for a while.

I hate the way
You are making me wait.
I hate the way
You aren't my fate.
I hate the way
I'm torn from limb.
And the way
I'll never be him.

I love your poem.

not bad

that's so sweet

its aight.

You could have used more descriptive language but I liked the repeating lines.

its sweet but a little boring..