Do you like this memory?

Question:Standing, looking, I was not bothered by the
Cold of the strange land.
A girl child approached cautiously with a smile that
Was glowing.
My mind a machine, told me she was
No threat, my mind, a machine, detected no threat.
She wiped the soft snow from the
Gloves of my hand.
That hand that held a machine, a
Tool of death, gripping
With sureness, that cold metal death.
A faux smile I returned as the cold winds were blowing.
She continued
Her work when my smile soon turned to dread.
My fatherly smile
Was now turned to dread. Her smile remained
My eyes moved to those tiny working hands,
To those little baby hands that
Were swollen and red,
Working and working, swollen and red
Those red tiny hands, made me a man.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Standing, looking, I was not bothered by the
Cold of the strange land.
A girl child approached cautiously with a smile that
Was glowing.
My mind a machine, told me she was
No threat, my mind, a machine, detected no threat.
She wiped the soft snow from the
Gloves of my hand.
That hand that held a machine, a
Tool of death, gripping
With sureness, that cold metal death.
A faux smile I returned as the cold winds were blowing.
She continued
Her work when my smile soon turned to dread.
My fatherly smile
Was now turned to dread. Her smile remained
My eyes moved to those tiny working hands,
To those little baby hands that
Were swollen and red,
Working and working, swollen and red
Those red tiny hands, made me a man.

I really like it. I would encourage you, however, to rethink the way you have broken each line up. The flow is a little off. I love it, but I think rearranging it a tad would make it even more powerful than it already is.

Thats a great poem
youre a great writer

I'm not sure I like this. Red and swollen baby hands making you a man? A hand that held a machine a tool of death? Although it's well written the subject matter is not appealing.

Inspiring poem. It is somewhat abstract in its meaning.
Few words in the last stanza may need rephrasing for a better comprehension for the average audience.
I personally enjoyed reading.