Hi. Can you cheer me up? please tell me if......?

Question:.....you can read if a poem, interpret it, and advice me on the content.....Here it is:

Here comes grief oh i hope it's brief!
It's pure denial and guilt of trust.

And family days here with Easter time.........
but where's my heart without a rhyme.........
Maybe tomorrow when i say the game's over,

I'll vanish like mist and out of sight.
It's like a trial all lost like dust!

A ray of sorrow. but the woe is lame wrong.
I'll sing for the things that i did right!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: .....you can read if a poem, interpret it, and advice me on the content.....Here it is:

Here comes grief oh i hope it's brief!
It's pure denial and guilt of trust.

And family days here with Easter time.........
but where's my heart without a rhyme.........
Maybe tomorrow when i say the game's over,

I'll vanish like mist and out of sight.
It's like a trial all lost like dust!

A ray of sorrow. but the woe is lame wrong.
I'll sing for the things that i did right!

Sounds like someone needs a hug! We all get sad sometimes. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who will just listen. Hope this helped. Hug!

WTF???

hey perhaps some hot coco would do the trick,

for the smile @--}-----;

mdg

WOBABOABOGGIEBAH

a little immature type..... don't worry.....
the length is short..... add some tougher words in this poem....
and express your feelings openly......
tell what the grief is about then it will sound more interesting...... and next time make sure to put more rhyming words...... good luck!
and where's the poem's title?
it is fine.....

well im not sure it is a little hard to follow although has somewhat of a charm in its own little way. But anyways I interperet that you feel bad about something, maybe guilty? You are hoping that this feeling goes away quickly and does not stay and linger for along time. Maybe someone has done somehting to break your trust and othe rpeople are or them are denying it happened, and i hope this isnt it but ur going ot kill them and then disappear....am i reading this wrong?

good poem!
sounds like parents being to judgemental....
good luck!

There is good material here. I would keep it as a good draft to build from. I've had advice like this, and I would be thinking that this is as far as I can go with it, and it still needs work? I'll just give up. But after awhile I do see the improvements. I can feel what you are writing. I don't know your story behind the poem, but my Dad passed away suddenly springtime 10 years ago. I remember always the last time I saw him, I told him I loved him and gave him a hug, because I'm away from my parents and siblings more than around. Little did I know he would have a heart attack the next morning. So sometimes while the sun is out, the cold breeze, flowers and tree growing. I feel a little sad and down, I know I'll see him in Heaven, but I miss him now.

I don't mean to bring you down, with my own sad story, but I just wanted you to know that I might be stealing some of your ideas, I like what you are trying to say.

i LOVE IT!

this is a good one.....sentimental....
keep writing..