What do you think of the poem i wrote in school today?

Question:We Don’t Know Why

The twinkling of stars on a balmy night,
The gabble of geese as they take flight,
A passionate look in your lover’s eye,
The graceful ballet of a butterfly.

Living on the edge, in a committed way,
Facing all challenges day by day,
Your life on the line—to do, not just try,
Life is exciting—a natural high.

Failure and boredom appear in your life;
Unhappiness cuts you, just like a knife.
“Where are all the good times,” you cry;
Is life just hard, and then you die?”

The freshening feel of an ocean breeze,
The colors of change in the leaves on the trees,
The feeling of peace as the days go by,
Life's a dazzling puzzle—and we don’t know why.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: We Don’t Know Why

The twinkling of stars on a balmy night,
The gabble of geese as they take flight,
A passionate look in your lover’s eye,
The graceful ballet of a butterfly.

Living on the edge, in a committed way,
Facing all challenges day by day,
Your life on the line—to do, not just try,
Life is exciting—a natural high.

Failure and boredom appear in your life;
Unhappiness cuts you, just like a knife.
“Where are all the good times,” you cry;
Is life just hard, and then you die?”

The freshening feel of an ocean breeze,
The colors of change in the leaves on the trees,
The feeling of peace as the days go by,
Life's a dazzling puzzle—and we don’t know why.

............and life with all its color and mystery pain and stresses and sorrow, is still life.

Well done.

you got lots of heart in the poem its really good just to improve it you could use a more complex language but its not necessary

Holy that was a good poem i loved it
nice

i luv it!

i love it.... keep up the good work :)

Wow, very moving :)
Keep writing!

A+

Cool. You dont have spring break

Really pretty good head and shoulders above what I usually read here. Especially good for a school assignment. Keep writing

O, good job! It's great. Keep writing. You have talent.

did i enjoy your poem, yes i did. if we did know why....would we enjoy life more?

Written very well, love the second stanza

Hey,
Wooow! I think your poem's great I mean really great it's like the truth in a rhyme I love poetry I think it's beautiful and I think that yours really speaks and you should write more maybe one day you could write a book lol :)

Carry on writing and I wish you the best of luck!! :)

Its unfortunate that this wonderful poem should end in a note of despair and hopelessness. There is a purpose tolife in my opinion so thats why it is worth living.

its amazing, beautiful, and true
keep up the good work, u could write great works like Shakespeare

I just think that you focused on the rhyming rather than the essence of the poem. I agree with the other member stating that add more complex words to better emphasize the emotions next time.

other than those, i think it's a good poem.

A-

A great example of a chaotic life, which, despite the up and down moods, is chosen above the more settled and safe, popular within social norm.

Beautiful
It's like my situation right now.
It's really good.
Keep creating art like this.
It could help you later in life.

awesome