Comments on my poem 'Black Thoughts?

Question:When i behold the pregnant rain clouds
That look benevolantly down at the parched earth,
And the trees swaying the branches wildly,
Like some mad woman in ecstasy,
My heart flutters within its narrow cell
And struggles to be free,
To soar up above this world,away from
The nightmare called life.

An Inexplicable sorrow wells up within me.
The air is filled with the fragrance
Of some wild exotic flower
My numb heart throbs in pain
I yearn to be one with you
Mysterious cloud, to forget myself
And fall to the earth as life drops
Purged clean of all miseries
To wake up as a pearly drop
In the petals of some morning flower;
See the world in all its glory and freshness, and leave
As the sun rises up in full majesty ;
Only to be born again as you appear
O,life-giving dark clouds.
Iam startled out of my reverie
When a loud thunder splits open your underbelly.
Cool drops of life fall to the earth,
And i hang my head in the wieght of tears,
Which i couldn't shed.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: When i behold the pregnant rain clouds
That look benevolantly down at the parched earth,
And the trees swaying the branches wildly,
Like some mad woman in ecstasy,
My heart flutters within its narrow cell
And struggles to be free,
To soar up above this world,away from
The nightmare called life.

An Inexplicable sorrow wells up within me.
The air is filled with the fragrance
Of some wild exotic flower
My numb heart throbs in pain
I yearn to be one with you
Mysterious cloud, to forget myself
And fall to the earth as life drops
Purged clean of all miseries
To wake up as a pearly drop
In the petals of some morning flower;
See the world in all its glory and freshness, and leave
As the sun rises up in full majesty ;
Only to be born again as you appear
O,life-giving dark clouds.
Iam startled out of my reverie
When a loud thunder splits open your underbelly.
Cool drops of life fall to the earth,
And i hang my head in the wieght of tears,
Which i couldn't shed.

Thats some good stuff.
I can really capture the emotion of dispair ans suffering.
You gave words to thoughts that are hard to define.
Its great. Its clever.

Interesting imagery. Sounds like the character is very connected to her surroundings and to nature, that it could give her a release she could not give herself. It almost gives me the imagery of a baptism, to be reborn, and nature is doing the baptism. I really like it.

Both beautiful and overflowing with pain. I hope the pain eases!

Itsaight

You are really good. You got talent. I hope you keep making beautiful poems. Keep up the good work and good luck.

In one word."Great"

A really emotion filled poem. You should go back and spell check it but other then that it's a good poem. A+