Read my poem,Bleed, please!?

Question:Ok, this is my poem that I wrote. It's called Bleed, and please let me know what you think of it!

My heart is bleeding, I'm desperately needing
Your assistance in healing
But I guess I'll bleed in vain
Because you don't care, you're not there
I'm being drained, the life's ebbing from my veins
Slit my wrists, let me bleed; hang me high up in a tree
I have no reason left to live
I've given all that I can give
You won't return the love I supply
Nothing matters, let me die
Drive a dagger through my heart
It's useless anyway, it's torn apart
Shredded into bits and pieces
And the bleeding never ceases
Though it's mangled and scarred
It's beating for you, long and hard
It may be worth very little
Here it is, though it's brittle
So handle it with ease
And cease the bleeding, please.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Ok, this is my poem that I wrote. It's called Bleed, and please let me know what you think of it!

My heart is bleeding, I'm desperately needing
Your assistance in healing
But I guess I'll bleed in vain
Because you don't care, you're not there
I'm being drained, the life's ebbing from my veins
Slit my wrists, let me bleed; hang me high up in a tree
I have no reason left to live
I've given all that I can give
You won't return the love I supply
Nothing matters, let me die
Drive a dagger through my heart
It's useless anyway, it's torn apart
Shredded into bits and pieces
And the bleeding never ceases
Though it's mangled and scarred
It's beating for you, long and hard
It may be worth very little
Here it is, though it's brittle
So handle it with ease
And cease the bleeding, please.

i like it....dont listen to nemo! everyone has their own stlye of writing...if everyone wrote the same way...then there would be no point in reading and writing at all!!!!
~Deadly Poetry

LOVE IT!!! I love how its kind of fast paced; that's how I read it anyway!! GREAT JOB, you get a star!!!

That poem made me feel sick, that's just gross. The meter of the poem is off though. Also, your 20 line poem is one stanza and one sentence. You must put punctuation in your writing to show when a reader takes a breath!
Yeah, don't listen to me, I'm just answered your question and read your poem.

~sig~
7 days without soccer makes one weak

I liked it a lot.

Nice rhythm and rhyming.

The term "long and hard" is very phallic with regard to your heart.

I stumbled over your ripped apart heart that was then beating long and hard and then it was brittle and bleeding again.

Hmmm, not a bad poem indeed. The poem seems to hint that perhaps someone has lost their lover who does not care for them anymore and as a last desperate hope of despair their heart is bleeding emotionally.

I like how you repeat the word bleeding throughout the poem. I think thats important as it refers to the poem title bleed. Also the words used e.g. drained, mangled and shredded shows how physically wrecked the person is who is suffering.

The poem does show despair and if thats what you intended the poem to do, than thats great. It works for me.

I like it, but its a little gory. It's really good, though!

i love it it took my breath away it made me what too cry
but it also made fell sorry for her no one is wroth dieing over

Wow really a cool poem and i loved it.Your poem is full of hurt and pain and that's what i relate ti well done.