Would you please tell me if this is any good? oh please?

Question:i just started writing i know im not very good because i usually sit down and write poem, but i would like to see the opions of the readers please & Thanks

"Forbidden"

Forbidden are the eyes that dreamed him into life
She pines for the love that’s been waited for
She awaits a moment then wishes for his kisses
Protecting arms yet sensual are the ones she misses.
If sensual lust be permissible, their distance wouldn’t
Help their love grow.
But time takes its place, as the days go by time will only know.
Forbidden is the air, for tomorrow is never known.
Life moves on fast but her love for him is overgrown.
She feels the sense of completion, and in her eyes she sees his reflection looking for a purpose in life, his strength and his knowledge. She sees she has found her way home. His love is no intuition yet she is awake to his response. She knows she is in love.
Will she search high and low for the missing pieces of his heart? A heart that was once just like hers, hurt,

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i just started writing i know im not very good because i usually sit down and write poem, but i would like to see the opions of the readers please & Thanks

"Forbidden"

Forbidden are the eyes that dreamed him into life
She pines for the love that’s been waited for
She awaits a moment then wishes for his kisses
Protecting arms yet sensual are the ones she misses.
If sensual lust be permissible, their distance wouldn’t
Help their love grow.
But time takes its place, as the days go by time will only know.
Forbidden is the air, for tomorrow is never known.
Life moves on fast but her love for him is overgrown.
She feels the sense of completion, and in her eyes she sees his reflection looking for a purpose in life, his strength and his knowledge. She sees she has found her way home. His love is no intuition yet she is awake to his response. She knows she is in love.
Will she search high and low for the missing pieces of his heart? A heart that was once just like hers, hurt,

i agree you are kind of rambling a bit but thats the good hting about poetry- the format can be what ever you want it to be. but still it needs just a little more structure to flow a little better for the reader to understand. I get the jist of the story but it doesn't all quite tie together.

I was never good at writing poetry, but I like this one. I might like ti better if it weren't so lovey dovey, but that's just my opinion.

Practice makes perfect!

It tends to ramble without a lot of structure. It's like a story you are trying to put into poetry but didn't finish yet.

Good try.
but it's too long and the words are stamble together

First, you should watch out for the number of times you use the same word...over and over...yet, sometimes, the use of the same word when it may have an entirely different meaning can add depth and vision...don't be afraid to experiment...don't make it work, make it playfully pleasant...the more YOU enjoy it...the more your readers will pick up on your happiness...