I have a new poem. PLEASE READ!?

Question:today is the first time that i saw my niece eince one year ago. i wrote a poem about it. tell me what you think!

“Aleia”
Brittany

I will never forget the amazing feelings I felt when I saw you.
I asked you how I high you could count, you simply said, “Two!”
Seeing your green eyes glitter in the light and feeling you in my arms.
Was like having the smallest of boats pass through the roughest storms.

When you smiled at me, I felt a piece of my heart break away.
Why did they keep you for so long; you were forced to be away?
I do not understand, and I probably never will.
There was a piece of my heart that never would fill.

I want to see you once more, to hold you in my arms once again.
Not being able to see you for so long caused nothing but pain.
You are my little baby girl, nothing I have ever felt before.
For months on end, I prayed I would see you, even in a store.

No one will be able to understand the tears I cried for you.
I wasn’t there to see you talk, laugh, or even to see you grow.
I waited so long for this day to come, and finally it is here.
It took all I had to look at you without shedding a tear.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: today is the first time that i saw my niece eince one year ago. i wrote a poem about it. tell me what you think!

“Aleia”
Brittany

I will never forget the amazing feelings I felt when I saw you.
I asked you how I high you could count, you simply said, “Two!”
Seeing your green eyes glitter in the light and feeling you in my arms.
Was like having the smallest of boats pass through the roughest storms.

When you smiled at me, I felt a piece of my heart break away.
Why did they keep you for so long; you were forced to be away?
I do not understand, and I probably never will.
There was a piece of my heart that never would fill.

I want to see you once more, to hold you in my arms once again.
Not being able to see you for so long caused nothing but pain.
You are my little baby girl, nothing I have ever felt before.
For months on end, I prayed I would see you, even in a store.

No one will be able to understand the tears I cried for you.
I wasn’t there to see you talk, laugh, or even to see you grow.
I waited so long for this day to come, and finally it is here.
It took all I had to look at you without shedding a tear.

You've got a lot of great stuff going on here, and it's a very touching poem. We are right there with you. A little tweak here and nip there and some polish is all that's needed.

I think the best parts are the specifics like when she holds up two fingers. I mean we can really see that.

Good job.

Nice poem, but the "even in a store" rhyme seems forced.

made me cry
i haven't seen my mum in forever

good one!!! Keep on writing. Poetry is the window to our souls.

I thought it was really good! I really like the way you described your niece. Beautiful and so caring... I love it!

hu hu hu sad story