What do you think of this poem......?????

Question:I am going to submit it to a writing contest in my school. It's for grades 6-8. I'm in grade 8. I want you oppinion, and I really need a title.

The candles that light my way,
flicker softly in the darkness of day.

Along this path they light only shadows,
of what was or is still there,
of future and past battles.

And as i walk i begin to see,
what has been and what might be.

Like, love without war,
happiness without pain,
they are the things i see,
as i follow this forgotten lane.

The past the present, and the future seen,
i can't comprehend them no clue what they mean.

But i will remember them always,
and cherich them forever,
Because they could be clues,
but i'll tell no one, never..........

By, Kendra MacKenzie

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I am going to submit it to a writing contest in my school. It's for grades 6-8. I'm in grade 8. I want you oppinion, and I really need a title.

The candles that light my way,
flicker softly in the darkness of day.

Along this path they light only shadows,
of what was or is still there,
of future and past battles.

And as i walk i begin to see,
what has been and what might be.

Like, love without war,
happiness without pain,
they are the things i see,
as i follow this forgotten lane.

The past the present, and the future seen,
i can't comprehend them no clue what they mean.

But i will remember them always,
and cherich them forever,
Because they could be clues,
but i'll tell no one, never..........

By, Kendra MacKenzie

it's awesome, ur a real good poet, the overall structure and flow it's like wow, maybe u could put cherish , and maybe instead of saying i'll tell no one,never- show how u are going not to tell no one, sort of like u did at the begginning u didnt say all was dark, u showed it through "shadows" and 'candles' , i think u'll be one of the finalist 4 sure

its good call it the path to nowhere

its a beautiful poem but wats the point of it? to like candles?

I like your poem. I think you are explaining how life feels so maybe title it "Life" or Nostalgia." Sorry I am not very creative on titles.

in the end you should change it to I'll tell no one, ever....
Its good... Maybe the title could be Forgotten...

idk a name for it srry =[ but it is a really good poem =] i like writting poems too =] =] =] =]

The sentiment is good but a few words could be lost and it could be tightened a little.

wow that really really good
i thought that was very well thought out
good job!!

If you are going to submit it to a writing contest you must look at your punctuation! Your grammar and your capitalization of the noun I. That will not go in any writing contest I was ever in. I was wondering about the darkness of the day. Is it a cloudy day? Just I didn't understand this. Overall I did really like your poem. It was very good.