Is the following a nicely written load of rubbish? An example of the rhyme dicta

Question:Tell me not in mournful numbers
Life is but an empty dream
For the soul is dead that slumbers
And things are not what they seem

Lives of great men all remind us
We can live our lives sublime
And in parting leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time

Footprints that perhaps another
Treading o'er life's solemn main
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother
Seeing shall take heart again

Let us then be up and doing
With a heart for any fate
Still achieving still pursuing
Learn to labour and to wait

Footprints in sand wouldn't be there very long for this shipwrecked sailor to follow. He just happens to be walking on a solemn stretch of water at the time, so good luck to him and I hope he appreciates the sublime bloke ahead of him. Telling him to be up and doing labouring and waiting. Just a bit confusing I think.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Tell me not in mournful numbers
Life is but an empty dream
For the soul is dead that slumbers
And things are not what they seem

Lives of great men all remind us
We can live our lives sublime
And in parting leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time

Footprints that perhaps another
Treading o'er life's solemn main
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother
Seeing shall take heart again

Let us then be up and doing
With a heart for any fate
Still achieving still pursuing
Learn to labour and to wait

Footprints in sand wouldn't be there very long for this shipwrecked sailor to follow. He just happens to be walking on a solemn stretch of water at the time, so good luck to him and I hope he appreciates the sublime bloke ahead of him. Telling him to be up and doing labouring and waiting. Just a bit confusing I think.

wow thats 5 minutes of my life i'll never get back again...

Thanx!

Yes. It does sound like a bit of rubbish.

Tell me not in mournful numbers
Life is but an empty dream
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
THINGS ARE NOT WHAT OFTEN SEEM
(THINGS ARE NOT WHAT OFT' THEY SEEM)

Lives of great men all remind us
We can live our lives sublime
And in parting leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time

Footprints that perhaps another
Treading o'er life's solemn main
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother
Seeing shall take heart again

Let us then be up and doing
With a heart for any fate
Still achieving still pursuing
Learn to labour and to wait

...yeah, tinker a bit on the FOURTH verse of the first stanza; the rest is OK, classical sonnet ABAB

Ah what I wouldn't give for a mug "O" Meade
so much to me like ingesting "Speed",
though it seems to fill some vagueness and need
as I bleed indeed, to OUT

It works kinda

Steven Wolf

Only you can answer the second question. Was it the case that the demands of rhyme forced those words from you? I kinda doubt it, from my viewing angle, but I'm not privy to the goings-on at the time of writing. It COULD be so. I suppose so. With the left hand. Weakly.

The first question, though, is one I can handle.

No, it isn't a load of rubbish, and yes, it is nicely written.

The first stanza is a little tired, but it does an okay job of rejecting 'purely rational thought,' and getting on with the normative program. Thematically, there is made room for mystical imports in the philosophy that follows.

The theme of the second stanza encapsulates a common understanding of 'purpose of life.' It isn't the only possible purpose of life, of course, but it is one that is rarely so neatly articulated. And I DO appreciate the sly use of 'footprints in the sands of time,' that hints at the futility of living for the sake of possible posthumous utility, amplified in the wan hope of your third stanza.

The fourth stanza has a zany 'pep squad' quality in the first three lines, optimistic, energetic, and vapid. And the jarring semantic/temperamental disjunct between those three heartily-stalwart platitudinous lines and the stodgily platitudinous last line is really, really funny.

I think it a good poem, that illustrates a phase in most people's development of thought around the perennial question, "What is the purpose of life?" (alternatively: "What is the meaning of life?" but I try to avoid that articulation when I can, as most people go all to pieces over the pseudo-term 'meaning.')

It is evident from your post-poem comment that you're not writing about your current thoughts around the matter. I'll look forward to reading that poem, should you post it for review here. Drop me a heads-up Email if that happens.

well. not really. probably i'm mistaken but i feel there is a point to all this. ofcourse, the first thing that i noticed was that it is written about things that everybody writes about, so in broader view this is indeed rubbish that is aswell, nicely written. =P

Can't believe that I'm the first to point this out - IT IS LONGFELLOW. The asker didn't write this.

The answer (and not because it was written by someone famous) is no, the poem clearly has a deeper message. Bruch up on YOUR skills (ie recognising metaphor, for one) and you'll find it easier to understand. To say everything that is difficult to understand is gibberish is silly; there are lots of 'languages' that don't make sense at first but mean a lot (maths, computer programming, religious symbols etc'). Just because they require more effort to read than a tabloid doesn't mean they don't hold meaning.