What about this poem??

Question:while it lasted
written by werewolf

My lifeless body lying on the ground,
You stand above me not making a sound.
You fake a smile to try and hide,
The fact you're slowly dying inside.
And there's only me and you,
The rest of the world is fading too.
Desecrated in the night,
The moon's the only source of light.
With a knife in my hand that's covered in blood,
I had the feeling I wasn't good enough.
The smell of blood is suddenly there,
Contaminating the crisp, frigid night air.
A death so young, a life so wasted,
The reason for it no one can trace it.
All I wanted was your love,
To save me from this Hell above.
All I gave you was my heart,
Then you tore it all apart.
So now I'm dead, and it was massive,
I guess that dying was fun while it lasted.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: while it lasted
written by werewolf

My lifeless body lying on the ground,
You stand above me not making a sound.
You fake a smile to try and hide,
The fact you're slowly dying inside.
And there's only me and you,
The rest of the world is fading too.
Desecrated in the night,
The moon's the only source of light.
With a knife in my hand that's covered in blood,
I had the feeling I wasn't good enough.
The smell of blood is suddenly there,
Contaminating the crisp, frigid night air.
A death so young, a life so wasted,
The reason for it no one can trace it.
All I wanted was your love,
To save me from this Hell above.
All I gave you was my heart,
Then you tore it all apart.
So now I'm dead, and it was massive,
I guess that dying was fun while it lasted.

OMG i LOVED it!!!
that was sooooooooo good!!
i have to give it to you...the was sooooo amazing.!
:]]
you are soo skilled.!

100 out of 10

keep up the great work!
[you should get that published!]

omg! in my own words, this poem is flippin awesome!
you must understand that i do not give many things, or people the honor of being flippin awesome, so your poem should feel special!

forced rhyme scheme. but otherwise ok. a little unbeleivable in context

that was deep man, really really deep

its depressingi liked it nice ryming between 1 and 10 a good solid 9 big seriouse words and tells the negative in life that we should expect