Sorry, I lied, another haiku, with a request for opinion?

Question:morning web in grass
diamond-studded, wet with dew,
I am a fly, caught.

or do you think would "morning' be better replaced with "spider?"

Also, please give any other commentary on yet another attempt at haiku. Thanks.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: morning web in grass
diamond-studded, wet with dew,
I am a fly, caught.

or do you think would "morning' be better replaced with "spider?"

Also, please give any other commentary on yet another attempt at haiku. Thanks.

Hell no don't change it.

Spider is too easy. The first line sets up an image, the second line solidifies it, and the third line takes a thing a beauty and reveals it as a deadly prison.

I like it.

spider...better.....not a dichotomy though really

I like the morning, keep as is.
If you lied, flowers might help too.

Just couldn't keep away, eh?

I really like this one. Personally, I don't think you need morning, because you've got dew. Similarly, spider might not add much to the piece, I thought about maybe 'Silken', or something that describes the web itself.

When I read the last line, I have to say, I thought it might work better packed full of movement; something like:

"fly caught, wriggling"

Something that brings the whole scene to life.

I belive your on a roll, I like it just the way it is...