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Position:Home>Poetry> Is this bad? Draft/finished.?Question:The dreams of discovering them linger in the twilight of time Unsure of when to find the love of time The love of time is unsure and for sees twilight time of the unforgettable space of the unforgettable space the lovers meet in twilight time the time of twilight that for sees all trouble That for sees all trouble leaving nothing but peace and harmony for both of them The future full of happyness --------------------------------------... Thank you for reading this please let me no what you think of it before or after. Both would be good. If you want the meaning of this poem please say so I will send you the meaning as soon as I read your answer. Have a good day, Silent Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The dreams of discovering them linger in the twilight of time Unsure of when to find the love of time The love of time is unsure and for sees twilight time of the unforgettable space of the unforgettable space the lovers meet in twilight time the time of twilight that for sees all trouble That for sees all trouble leaving nothing but peace and harmony for both of them The future full of happyness --------------------------------------... Thank you for reading this please let me no what you think of it before or after. Both would be good. If you want the meaning of this poem please say so I will send you the meaning as soon as I read your answer. Have a good day, Silent no, this poem is not bad at all. It's very good, but, there's somthing about it... i can't pin point it. as if...something were missing. sorry, i just don't know what it is. before i read the poem, i had no emotion or thoughts running in my head because there was no titile. after the poem, so many emotions ran through me. especially the last stanza. but there is something missing. but i don't know what. but the poem, overall, is very good it's good but the time and twighlight thing kind of left me Blah it has potentual, i would say this is a draft, a good one no doubt, but it needs refinesments. good luck, and keep writing! there's a place where you can copyright your work, its storywrite.com my username is inyumi this poem is full of emotion :] i say its good, but kinda missing something. Something you have to find out yourself! This is a great draft. I love"twilight time of the unforgettable space". In order not to repeat the word twilight so often, maybe you could use "the lovers meet in twilight time the time of dying light that foresees all trouble" I really think you'll have a wonderful poem with a bit of tweaking. It is almost perfect the way it is. Thank you. This is a beautiful poem for a draft. The only thing I see that bothers me is saying time so many times. Maybe you could substitute other references to this. Still it's great. |