Thought on this poem?

Question:Her hair,
An ocean of waves and currents
A mental comfort she drapes
Over me with her brillant stare
The birds pleasantly sing her name
The breeze softly howls her scent
Her warmth is delightful to the sun
Her beauty is a full moon
As i stand alone
&
Just admire her from a distance
If i get to close
I'll destroy her
So i stay away
As it destroys me

Ineffable

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Her hair,
An ocean of waves and currents
A mental comfort she drapes
Over me with her brillant stare
The birds pleasantly sing her name
The breeze softly howls her scent
Her warmth is delightful to the sun
Her beauty is a full moon
As i stand alone
&
Just admire her from a distance
If i get to close
I'll destroy her
So i stay away
As it destroys me

Ineffable

She sounds lovely. And from what it sounds like, it must self torture to like her...a thorn in your heart.

He suffers.
It makes me sad, and any poem that can evoke emotion is great.

*****

very beautiful, and at the end, sadly so.

Good write, although the flow kind of faltered at times, it was never very far off.

I want to know what colour her eyes are!
Good start, wonderful closing!

It was a really nice poem and really let me relax.
Well Done!!!!

ur poem is relly sweet n lovely !!!!!!!!!!
it creat a feeling of silent love in u

Angel

How long did it take you to compose this poem?

Robert

I agree with the first person who commented on this question; it must be torture to like her.

So beautiful. To keep the thing you love, you must leave it be. So tragic yet beautiful.

the focus on hair makes the speaker's point of view shallow as it builds momentum to the final buildup of desire in the mind... try revising the speaker's point of view... is it really the hair that makes it destroy him so? if thats the case, the speaker's point of view is not sincere.

i think it is talking about not being selfish about loving someone, about loving but letting go, sacrifice for the sake of the other person, being selfless, that is.

sounds like a horny young women that hasn't learned the value of maintaining and contrasting cadence in her poems...