Constructive comments and critiques are welcomed. What do you think of this poem

Question:Do You Like Apples?

Age is creeping up on me like a spider
skittering across her web to devour new victims
Lotions and potions and rubs and pills
they keep me healthy and i am gratefully
making plans to vacation by the ocean
where warmth is my friend until i am

No longer at home in my bones
and have flown from this place
where i rest in a tree in a lovely garden.
and take delight in the delicious apples.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Do You Like Apples?

Age is creeping up on me like a spider
skittering across her web to devour new victims
Lotions and potions and rubs and pills
they keep me healthy and i am gratefully
making plans to vacation by the ocean
where warmth is my friend until i am

No longer at home in my bones
and have flown from this place
where i rest in a tree in a lovely garden.
and take delight in the delicious apples.

So heaven is a tree and you finally get to eat the apple without the sin? That must be one fine apple! Another excellent poem, very whimsical. It is amazing that in ten lines you inserted spiders, potions, pills, oceans, bones, trees and gardens and ended up with apples. What a journey, must be life.

Yes, I like the poem. It's really cute.

Its nice. I love the imagery.

You're a worm!
Waite, a caterpillar!
Spiders are awfully fast
In the second part, are you dead
How did apples get in to the poem?

Sounds like you need a vacation.......lol......A good poem is one that makes you sit and think about it for a few minutes I had to sit and think about it of a few before I could respond. I think it gives an excellent and VERY creative explaination of how a person feels when he hasn't taken time off of work and everyday life in a long time.

I really don't mean to be a jerk, but this poem is weak.
I think the idea is fine, but you should think about scrapping the words and starting over. Poetry cannot be forced, when you feel passionate about a topic it becomes much easier to write, the words flow onto the paper.