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Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of my haiku? Honest criticism & detailed suggestions appreciteQuestion:Autumn crocus fronts grasses massing in mauve - trees standing their ground. Or is this better - Purple petals front grasses massing in mauve, and trees standing their ground. Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Autumn crocus fronts grasses massing in mauve - trees standing their ground. Or is this better - Purple petals front grasses massing in mauve, and trees standing their ground. The language is not visual enough and I don't see a real meaning here. Then again poetry can be confusing. I do like the personification of the trees however but I just don't get it. You have the general idea of what a Haiku is, but the traditional Japanese haiku is a 5-7-5 verse make up. Though the new American and English Haiku's may be of any number of words per line, so long as the first and third are of equal. Even a 2-1-2 haiku is possible such as Pebble falls - Plop - Pebble sinks. Your second haiku would have been better as a 3-4-3. Perhaps. Purple petals front Grasses massing in mauve Trees standing tall But a good effort. Robert |