Opinions of this poem, its influences should be obvious?

Question:Teetering On Some Edge

Maybe I need to write a poem
A long, rambling thing
Like a Bukowski knock-off only different
Cuz I'm drinking milk, not Scotch
And I'm not feeling superior
More depressed
Or perhaps uncertain
Like the suicide before he leaps....

I have great angst on this Sunny afternoon
And where there's peace is every place I'm not
Where there's harmony is outside of me
Beyond the frame I know, I reference

I wonder what other thoughts the suicide has
That is, just before he leaps?
Does his mind wander
Or is he steadfast, like a chess player?
Does he look at the ground or the sky?
What emotions does he feel?

He's no doubt, all a-jumble
A confused mish-mash
An unknown question with ten thousand answers
A stew with too many spices, trying too hard to taste right
To work together
To be... harmonious

That is how I feel, anyway
I don't really care what's in the suicide's mind or heart
He's going to jump, he knows what he's going to do--
I do not.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Teetering On Some Edge

Maybe I need to write a poem
A long, rambling thing
Like a Bukowski knock-off only different
Cuz I'm drinking milk, not Scotch
And I'm not feeling superior
More depressed
Or perhaps uncertain
Like the suicide before he leaps....

I have great angst on this Sunny afternoon
And where there's peace is every place I'm not
Where there's harmony is outside of me
Beyond the frame I know, I reference

I wonder what other thoughts the suicide has
That is, just before he leaps?
Does his mind wander
Or is he steadfast, like a chess player?
Does he look at the ground or the sky?
What emotions does he feel?

He's no doubt, all a-jumble
A confused mish-mash
An unknown question with ten thousand answers
A stew with too many spices, trying too hard to taste right
To work together
To be... harmonious

That is how I feel, anyway
I don't really care what's in the suicide's mind or heart
He's going to jump, he knows what he's going to do--
I do not.

I like the line about drinking milk, not scotch and some of your images (stew) are really nice and fresh.
Rework it a little...some of your choices are close to cliche and I see where you were going with it (I think) to follow what may be a predictable path to a reader but then twist it. You may have to go a little farther with the twist like in the verse starting with
" I have great angst this sunny afternoon..."

Also your line breaks in the 3rd stanza...
"That is", may be best to stand alone or on the preceding line...?

And I would take off the last line of "I do not"
Its over explaining and by this time we understand you do not. Leaves more to think about without it.

Overall it was a fresh read and I enjoyed it Thanks.

P.S. Check out some Charles Simic if you haven't already. He is a master at the line breaks.

"A stew with too many spices" I thought this was brilliant, and I don't think anyone can really call it a Bukowski knock-off either, for reasons you've already explained.

Of suicides, I have heard that in some cases (probably not bottle of scotch and handgun cases) people feel an overwhelming sense of calm once they make the decision to kill themselves, as if they'd stepped out of their bodies...

Anyway, back to the poem. What I enjoyed most about it was the natuaral flow; it was conversational and engaging, as many great poems are, while never deflecting focus from the ideas in the piece. A very strong ending as well.