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Position:Home>Poetry> Can this poem take you on a ride?Question:Let Go By Semper Fi Reborn Let go now Inhibitions are professional Procrastinators So let go and come with me Around this bend in the road Over that hill Look down into the valley of hope See the cabin's chimney puffing serenely Hopefully Mingling with the cold mountain air Silent crisp air Split in half by the cry of a hawk Which has spotted his meal Found a table Dined, Check please! O' your wingspan hides the sun for just a sec... Is that the stupid phone? Where was I? Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Let Go By Semper Fi Reborn Let go now Inhibitions are professional Procrastinators So let go and come with me Around this bend in the road Over that hill Look down into the valley of hope See the cabin's chimney puffing serenely Hopefully Mingling with the cold mountain air Silent crisp air Split in half by the cry of a hawk Which has spotted his meal Found a table Dined, Check please! O' your wingspan hides the sun for just a sec... Is that the stupid phone? Where was I? it was alright but not one of your best..keep writing i enjoy the reading..i look forward to them http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fus... im sorry that this doesn't answer ur question but add my myspace... if this was longer and more descriptive, yes. Now, if you only added a beat................................. Not really No. For me it doesn't. But for some people it may. It just didn't grab my attention at all. If it was a little more deeper and like idk Then I could picture myself in it taking me on the ride. But i can't picture myself. So my answer is no. I think it is relly good! But i don't know that much about poetry. But i think its good. Very nice--love it when someone can successfully inject legitimate humour into a poem, a poem which had me reading quite excitedly, as if on a ride. Yes, I'm soaring with the hawk...through the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. Appreciate the ride! Beautiful description of the presence of God. There is nothing like it. Your words paint beautiful pictures. You are gifted. It's funny. I'll go, that sounds good. It's good lol thanks jlu yes it does, but all of your poems do!!!!!!!God bless!!!!!!! |