A rerun, my suicide poem inspired by GJ Carlson's, "The Patient Fly&quo

Question:*****
Reservations for One Million
By TD Euwaite

The fly waits patiently
Rubbing his little black hands
He sees a million me’s
The million maggot meal

Iridescent green body twitches
Excited to find such a feast
Me and my meat, waiting to die
And the fly salivates

From his ceiling perch
He sees my hand tremble
The gun wobbles in my unsteady grip
“Get on with it!” he shouts, “I’m Hungry!”

*****

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: *****
Reservations for One Million
By TD Euwaite

The fly waits patiently
Rubbing his little black hands
He sees a million me’s
The million maggot meal

Iridescent green body twitches
Excited to find such a feast
Me and my meat, waiting to die
And the fly salivates

From his ceiling perch
He sees my hand tremble
The gun wobbles in my unsteady grip
“Get on with it!” he shouts, “I’m Hungry!”

*****

Perfect Poetic Perspective.
But isn't it the 'Impatient' fly? Just had to say something so's you know I'm payin' attention.

Congratulations on your book.

Now that's what Monday morning needs--a light-hearted view of suicide. Good show.

As well as it is written, I really don't like thinking about death...and the insects and worms that wait to get us when we do die.

Now you have to write a cheerful one, for St. Patrick's Day, and because it's raining where I live, lol.

Completely new perspective on the oldest of chestnuts.

Who'd expect to get a decent laugh from suicide?

You managed it. Angst-ridden pen twitchers take note.

The million maggot meal kind of got to me there big guy....

Very well written, I liked it....as morbid as it is =)

Yes, Yummy!

I agree- very well written, and such a sunny topic for such a rainy Monday morning! :)

Ah, to be a fly on the wall! Only you could make suicide funny.

(Shivering.) Well, at least he was green! Erin go bragh!

(Good show!)

I remember this poem. It's chilling and demanding.

Hi, TD - I liked the poem.
But, I am going to point out some things which occur to me.

He sees a million me's - do you mean because a flies' eye sees multiple images, does that also apply to a million maggot meal or is that just because your rotting corpse will feed a million maggots? (I like the sound of the alliteration. though).
me and my meat - separates you into two, wouldn't it be better as 'I am his meat waiting to die'
Sorry to be picky!!!!
I am impressed at your lateral thinking - rather than use you (the suicide) as the centre of the action we get a totally different slant on things.
ps I don't know GJ Carlson or his poem.

That's constitutionaly correct...fly has freedom of speech...uh, can I just shotgun that fly to Pangea?

Naw, this is gruesome, chilling, and, in certain respects, just flat EVIL!

In short, I LOVE it...you painted that fly so well, I was looking around the kitchen! That is so good! Never would have thought an impatient fly could make for a great poem! It did!

started reading seriously but it made me giggle by the end.
superb job.

Yeah. Wearing species blinders, that us. Who cares if the fly's hungry? The fly does, of course. Black humor at its best.