Truthfully what do youthink of this poem.?

Question:okay I know it sounds like one of those poems you get off of photobucket and whatnot but honest to God I made it up, P.S. I'm into the whole emo poem thing so please dont label me emo. :)

everybody has a story behind their eyes. the
truth is I would like to die, through all the
pain you put me through, I'm glad to see
that your here too. I have to go, and say one
more thing you never loved me and I never
loved you, why did we ever lie?

well just tell me what you think of it, and it so depressing because I just wrote it down after my boyfriend broke up with me. ohh well, haha the funny thing now is he says he made a "big mistake" and "wants me back" but I stay strong sistas!

have a great dayy! ohh and please don't post this on the internet or something saying you made it up. thanks!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: okay I know it sounds like one of those poems you get off of photobucket and whatnot but honest to God I made it up, P.S. I'm into the whole emo poem thing so please dont label me emo. :)

everybody has a story behind their eyes. the
truth is I would like to die, through all the
pain you put me through, I'm glad to see
that your here too. I have to go, and say one
more thing you never loved me and I never
loved you, why did we ever lie?

well just tell me what you think of it, and it so depressing because I just wrote it down after my boyfriend broke up with me. ohh well, haha the funny thing now is he says he made a "big mistake" and "wants me back" but I stay strong sistas!

have a great dayy! ohh and please don't post this on the internet or something saying you made it up. thanks!

OMG

That is so sweet! I can really relate to it too..With my old friend.. I think it's really good, but only if you understand it and connect with it. Great work!

Stay strong and don't go back with your old boyfriend ok?

Little too vague. I didn't understand any of it at all.

The poem sounds like you are both in a place near Heaven or Hell and for the first time you are telling the truth. You need to be more clear about why you would like to die if this guy is such a jerk.
The poem is a good beginning of a much longer work. I don't think you should have any fears about someone stealing it.

hey this is not bad. We have all been regret full for loving jerks. You are not grieving him but your blindness and your trying to cement your decision to " stay strong" and protect your self.

as a poem it needs to have the structure straightened out.. for some reason you have buried the rhyming words. I like that you ended flat like the relationship..