What think'st thou of my sonnet?

Question:I'm not an English major, a novelsit, a published author (not yet, but close), or one skilled in the theories and aspects of poetic literature...But i write. I'm 16.

I'd like to know what you think.

Sonnet XXXVI

Could storms? or fire? or hunger drawn tempests
Release me from this state of love I bide?
Are there tornadoes strong that could persist
Through walls of love we’ve built and gain inside?
Be there a fire so fierce—that summer’s sun
Would wither like the trail of candle light—
To best our love and prove we’ve come undone?
Or would we stand been tested by all might?
I pray that we be subject to them all
And prove our love to win the wicked date.
From every deathly shower Death will fall
Unto love’s feet and there recriminate.
In the event that Death will fall below
Our love will be an upspring of the foe.

By Jacob Walter Wilson.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I'm not an English major, a novelsit, a published author (not yet, but close), or one skilled in the theories and aspects of poetic literature...But i write. I'm 16.

I'd like to know what you think.

Sonnet XXXVI

Could storms? or fire? or hunger drawn tempests
Release me from this state of love I bide?
Are there tornadoes strong that could persist
Through walls of love we’ve built and gain inside?
Be there a fire so fierce—that summer’s sun
Would wither like the trail of candle light—
To best our love and prove we’ve come undone?
Or would we stand been tested by all might?
I pray that we be subject to them all
And prove our love to win the wicked date.
From every deathly shower Death will fall
Unto love’s feet and there recriminate.
In the event that Death will fall below
Our love will be an upspring of the foe.

By Jacob Walter Wilson.

God damn
Your good! Damn good.
APPLAUSE IS GIVEN TO THEE
AND ITS CAPTURE SHALL ENDURE
KUDOS KUDOS KUDOS
TIS I WHO IS HONORED TO HAVE READ SUCH WORDS
NEIGH HONORED WOULD ONLY BE A FAULTER
ENTHRALLED TO THIS EXTENT
DAMN GOOD.
keep it up

I'm awestruck.
Totally awesome

jeez, i'm put to shame again. TWO TIMES IN A DAY, Gosh. I love to write and that makes me feel very lowly. I LOOOOVVVVEEEEE IIIIITTTTT!!! WWWOOOOWWW!!! You totally are gonna be published some day! SOON! I wish I could say the same for myself. I. Am. So. Glad. I. Got. To. Read. IT! THANKZ! amazing dude! incredible!

gah! outdone! hehe =]
i tried a sonnet the other day. i ended up with 15 lines...shame on me. =P
yours is good. well done. i'll have to try again...