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Position:Home>Poetry> Something.......different from my usual darkness, in the eyes of a guy, like it?Question:Enchantress We're lieing in a meadow, our hands intertwined, the sun shineing brightly, no darkness or shadow. The smile on your face, it takes my breath away, the way your arms hold me, when you give your sweet embrace. Looking in your eyes, it's like looking at the stars, they sparkle with delight, as my hand strokes your thighs. Our lips gently touch, a tingle of pleasure goes up my spine, the kiss grows fiercer, the desire becomes too much. Your blood red nails claw at my skin, red liquid starts flowing, my heart beats impossibly fast, come my enchantress, let us sin. Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Enchantress We're lieing in a meadow, our hands intertwined, the sun shineing brightly, no darkness or shadow. The smile on your face, it takes my breath away, the way your arms hold me, when you give your sweet embrace. Looking in your eyes, it's like looking at the stars, they sparkle with delight, as my hand strokes your thighs. Our lips gently touch, a tingle of pleasure goes up my spine, the kiss grows fiercer, the desire becomes too much. Your blood red nails claw at my skin, red liquid starts flowing, my heart beats impossibly fast, come my enchantress, let us sin. The imagery and language is vivid and it seems to get your point across, but if I may make a suggestion; I would make the rhyme scheme ABCB per stanza in stead of ABCA. wow i like that very romantic and moveing I LOVE IT!!!! It's freakin' hot man lol! wow, breathtaking! lol in love it....if you have an deviant art page add me! how....interesting! lol very interesting! i like the second stanza! and the fourth! yup yup! lol see ya round! ~Hara Kantana lying...shining does it in the 2d stanza refer back to face? the last line is all fact and clashes with all that has foregone. Too, sin is a negative word when the rest of the poem has been dreamy. I have to be honest I remember reading one of your first writings here on Yahoo answers and I thought 'this is pretty good.' But this piece is exceptionally good; it has so much emotion and passion in it. Keep up the great work |