What do you thinkk of my poetry???

Question:Here are a few of my poems, just the ones I have saved on the computer I have a notebook full haha. Tell me what you think please<3

Painted over.

Fine bristles explode with color,
Outlining your soul.
As for me a silhouette,
Of a winter's day so cold.

My shadow with blurry edges,
Cast on the desolate snow.
If you could only feel the void,
You would fill my palette so.

A dab of color will brighten the day,
I swear to you it's true.
And you're the only one
That can paint my gray skies blue.

AS TIME PASSES.

Time embraces the world
thrusts it to the ground
We sit here void of emotion
making not a sound
It ages us inevitably
someday we all must die
Days fade to black
the light passes us by

BROKEN.

Harsh fists bear heavily,
Against her fragile skin.
She kicks and screams,
But cannot win.

Tears streak her face,
She cannot talk.
She runs for the door,
But it is locked.

Drunken fists press her
To the cold white wall,
Pain envelopes her
Helplessly she falls.

Now she lays motionless
on this bitter tile floor,
Bloody and beaten,
She can't take much more.

CANCER.

The theif comes silently
Without an introduction.
Penetrating your soul.
Having no empathy.
Showing no remorse.
It cannot be eradicated.
You feel as though,
Faith abandoned you.
Along with your body,
Which lays motionless.
Under the firmly pressed sheets,
In your eternal prison.
As you lay with lines etched,
Across your pale face.
Darkness surrounds you,
You can no longer see the light.
Despair envelopes you,
Your breaths are becoming shorter.
You long for the day
The disease will release you
to heaven where you will finally
be cured of it forever.

LOVE YET UNSPOKEN

---Two souls----------intertwined---
by one shared love. They gleam
--into the other's eyes. hands--
-----clasped tightly together.-----
---------words not needed---------
-----------to express this----------
------------------bond.---------------...

**^my first concrete poem**

Asphyxiation.

Silent screams fill me,
With anguished thoughts.
My soul's tainted with rust.
Decaying with rot.

Hands trembling,
I struggle to breathe.
Trapped in this body,
There's no way to leave.

Asphyxiated, Choking,
I cannot see straight.
The light slowly dims,
I suffocate.

Pictures in the Sky.

I reside in the lavish grass
Gleaming up entranced.
At the sky, oh so brisk.
It unfolds gently
Bearing white mist so pure
Parading across the sky.
Like actors on a stage
Wonderful caricatures
As depicted to a child's eye.

Drowning in Lies

Choking on tears,
Drowning in lies.
Trying to swallow,
These soft suddle cries.

I reach for the surface,
Gasping for air.
The water's too thick,
Black with despair.

Tendrils of lies,
Holding me back.
Entangling around me,
A silent attack.

Buried

Desperate and confused,
What I loved is gone.
I trudge along in the cold,
Wondering what went wrong.

Tears freeze before falling,
Chills run down my spine.
The Earth encased in white,
Looking so divine.

But underneath the beauty,
Of this arctic barren place.
Lay memories from last summer,
I'd give anything to erase.

Frostbite's setting in,
I don't know where to go.
For this summer love,
Is now buried in the snow.

Tears of Blood

I press the cool shiny blade
To my scarred arm.
I watch it slice deeply,
Tearing flesh from bone.
Tears of blood trickle
And run off my fingertips.
I glance at the blade.
Stained crimson with blood.
Slowly I lose conciousness.
My veins run dry.
My blood runs cold.
My soul bids me goodbye.
Leaving behind a mangled body,
Along with this arm-
An artwork of Picasso.

Falling

My lonely lost soul,
Now tied down by chains.
All hope is destroyed,
By a heart in disdain.

My shadow's edges,
Are depleted and blurred.
The pain penetrates,
My voice becomes slurred.

My thoughts are null,
Of sympathetic remorse.
My mind's closing in on me,
It keeps getting worse.

I'm empathic with hate,
And fear I can't fight.
My vision is hazy,
I'm losing my sight.

Darkness surrounds me,
I can no longer see.
Despair envelops me,
I'm gasping to breathe.

Void of emotion,
I make not a sound.
All hope leaves me quietly,
As I fall to the ground.

Cold and lifeless,
I lay on the floor.
I'm now in fate's hands,
I fear what's in store.

I am only 13 so please judge these according to the cababilities of a 13 year old, not an adult. thank you =) and if you like them, tell me and I'll post more.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Here are a few of my poems, just the ones I have saved on the computer I have a notebook full haha. Tell me what you think please<3

Painted over.

Fine bristles explode with color,
Outlining your soul.
As for me a silhouette,
Of a winter's day so cold.

My shadow with blurry edges,
Cast on the desolate snow.
If you could only feel the void,
You would fill my palette so.

A dab of color will brighten the day,
I swear to you it's true.
And you're the only one
That can paint my gray skies blue.

AS TIME PASSES.

Time embraces the world
thrusts it to the ground
We sit here void of emotion
making not a sound
It ages us inevitably
someday we all must die
Days fade to black
the light passes us by

BROKEN.

Harsh fists bear heavily,
Against her fragile skin.
She kicks and screams,
But cannot win.

Tears streak her face,
She cannot talk.
She runs for the door,
But it is locked.

Drunken fists press her
To the cold white wall,
Pain envelopes her
Helplessly she falls.

Now she lays motionless
on this bitter tile floor,
Bloody and beaten,
She can't take much more.

CANCER.

The theif comes silently
Without an introduction.
Penetrating your soul.
Having no empathy.
Showing no remorse.
It cannot be eradicated.
You feel as though,
Faith abandoned you.
Along with your body,
Which lays motionless.
Under the firmly pressed sheets,
In your eternal prison.
As you lay with lines etched,
Across your pale face.
Darkness surrounds you,
You can no longer see the light.
Despair envelopes you,
Your breaths are becoming shorter.
You long for the day
The disease will release you
to heaven where you will finally
be cured of it forever.

LOVE YET UNSPOKEN

---Two souls----------intertwined---
by one shared love. They gleam
--into the other's eyes. hands--
-----clasped tightly together.-----
---------words not needed---------
-----------to express this----------
------------------bond.---------------...

**^my first concrete poem**

Asphyxiation.

Silent screams fill me,
With anguished thoughts.
My soul's tainted with rust.
Decaying with rot.

Hands trembling,
I struggle to breathe.
Trapped in this body,
There's no way to leave.

Asphyxiated, Choking,
I cannot see straight.
The light slowly dims,
I suffocate.

Pictures in the Sky.

I reside in the lavish grass
Gleaming up entranced.
At the sky, oh so brisk.
It unfolds gently
Bearing white mist so pure
Parading across the sky.
Like actors on a stage
Wonderful caricatures
As depicted to a child's eye.

Drowning in Lies

Choking on tears,
Drowning in lies.
Trying to swallow,
These soft suddle cries.

I reach for the surface,
Gasping for air.
The water's too thick,
Black with despair.

Tendrils of lies,
Holding me back.
Entangling around me,
A silent attack.

Buried

Desperate and confused,
What I loved is gone.
I trudge along in the cold,
Wondering what went wrong.

Tears freeze before falling,
Chills run down my spine.
The Earth encased in white,
Looking so divine.

But underneath the beauty,
Of this arctic barren place.
Lay memories from last summer,
I'd give anything to erase.

Frostbite's setting in,
I don't know where to go.
For this summer love,
Is now buried in the snow.

Tears of Blood

I press the cool shiny blade
To my scarred arm.
I watch it slice deeply,
Tearing flesh from bone.
Tears of blood trickle
And run off my fingertips.
I glance at the blade.
Stained crimson with blood.
Slowly I lose conciousness.
My veins run dry.
My blood runs cold.
My soul bids me goodbye.
Leaving behind a mangled body,
Along with this arm-
An artwork of Picasso.

Falling

My lonely lost soul,
Now tied down by chains.
All hope is destroyed,
By a heart in disdain.

My shadow's edges,
Are depleted and blurred.
The pain penetrates,
My voice becomes slurred.

My thoughts are null,
Of sympathetic remorse.
My mind's closing in on me,
It keeps getting worse.

I'm empathic with hate,
And fear I can't fight.
My vision is hazy,
I'm losing my sight.

Darkness surrounds me,
I can no longer see.
Despair envelops me,
I'm gasping to breathe.

Void of emotion,
I make not a sound.
All hope leaves me quietly,
As I fall to the ground.

Cold and lifeless,
I lay on the floor.
I'm now in fate's hands,
I fear what's in store.

I am only 13 so please judge these according to the cababilities of a 13 year old, not an adult. thank you =) and if you like them, tell me and I'll post more.

Hi! You do have a wonderful way with words. Your poems are very sad but you are also conveying what you feel which is more than a lot of people can do. It is so hard to know that you have gone through these things at such a young age. But also, if writing poetry helps you deal with these things, keep writing! I have had some hard times in my life as well and I enjoy writing. Most of my writings are just for myself and I don't show them to other people but they help get me through, if you know what I mean. You are very talented. I do hope that you continue to work through your hardships. I will be praying for you.

Regardless of your age, I think your poetry is amazing. "Tears of blood" is a little too grotesque for my liking, but it is still very powerful. It is easier for me to write poetry about "dark" ideas and emotions too, maybe this is because I also struggle with depression. You should enter a poetry contest or something, your poems are excellent. "Broken" displays incredible imagery and leaves little to the imagination. So many of these themes are relevant to me, my mom died of cancer when I was younger. I share a fascination with the soul and the possibilities at life's end. Stunning is the only adjective I can think of, please post more poems.

love it!

Stick to math, if you want to make money in the world, master some important skill like math and every thing will come easy to you in life. Every thing you see, feel and touch is a product of math. Become part of it. dreamers don;t make money, most poets are famous after their death when others make money selling their poems

Good. Something that surprises me after reading other crappy poetry from other people here in Yahoo!Answers. I didn't expect you were only 13 years old. I like the poems. Not too obvious, not too vague. Also, you managed to stay away from cliches. Everything sounds sincere. Excellent.

When I was a teen, writing what I felt into paper made me feel better. You are a talented 13 yr old poet.
Wish you the best.