A short poem addressing the state of the world. Read it?

Question:On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = bad, and 10 = good). Now, be nice to me 'cause I'm not really a poet. So this is kinda raw. It's simply called "Idly By".

Why do we sit idly by
Day after passing day?
Watching as the world spins out of control?
As lives are taken away?

How much pain must we endure
Before it starts to cease?
Why is war the only answer
To the question of missing peace?

Why must the children fall victim
To the current state of the world?
Innocence is exchanged for fear and grief
When will a solution unfurl?

Why do we sit idly by
Day after passing day?
Wishing and wanting, yet doing nothing
To make a better day?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = bad, and 10 = good). Now, be nice to me 'cause I'm not really a poet. So this is kinda raw. It's simply called "Idly By".

Why do we sit idly by
Day after passing day?
Watching as the world spins out of control?
As lives are taken away?

How much pain must we endure
Before it starts to cease?
Why is war the only answer
To the question of missing peace?

Why must the children fall victim
To the current state of the world?
Innocence is exchanged for fear and grief
When will a solution unfurl?

Why do we sit idly by
Day after passing day?
Wishing and wanting, yet doing nothing
To make a better day?

John Lennon used to say he didn't like some of Paul McCartney's songs because they never resolve themselves.

I'm a big McCartney fan, but I realized he was right when I listened to songs like Eleanor Rigby.

So, this is what your poem reminded me of. It asks the question "WHY". And while you wrote beautifully, all you asked was "why". We all ask "why". That's easy. What's hard is to offer an answer that will give us pause to think.

So, I think what you have is excellent. But if you topped it off in a final verse containing an answer from your heart, the poem would have a pay off for the reader and resolve itself.

Nice job! I give it a 7.

7.5 out of 10. I really liked this poem, it was quite pleasant to read. Although, if you put more passion into it more anger and emotion it could sound even better. Great!

I agree with the message and the politics. Set it to a banjo and you got something there. 8 of 10

Peace

This is really something brian, i like the super group of soul/humanity/compassion. I give a 10 to it. Congratulations. Could you send it to the UN please, I htink they will find it interesting too.

5 out of 10.
I don't know why, even you didn't tell us way.
?????

8 it's a good poem but you could really get angry and get someones attention by putting more imagery in there.

Awesome--definite 10! You're a modern day Walt Whitman (he wrote a poem entitled "I Sit and Look Out" that deals with the same sort of stuff). Great job!

It has good imagery and it's easy to understand. It's a great novice poem. It's a great way of expressing your futility instead of just complaing about insane war. A solid 8.

7 i think
'Why is war the only answer
To the question of missing peace?'

i like that line