Like My poem???????

Question:Love is Venomous

Love is venomous
as a deadly snake
misunderstood
and so opaque

intricate patterns
your love will slither
this delicate flower
soon will wither

first its beautiful
till' its incursion
fangs sink in
love's excursion

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Love is Venomous

Love is venomous
as a deadly snake
misunderstood
and so opaque

intricate patterns
your love will slither
this delicate flower
soon will wither

first its beautiful
till' its incursion
fangs sink in
love's excursion

not bad. I'm more of a fan of free verse rather than rhyming, but I think it's good.

(there's no apostrophe at all Ana. if we wrote it 'til, then there would be, but somehow, the shortened version of until became till with 2 L's.. I think he asked what you thought of the poem, not his grammar or spelling)

sounds like you're pissed.

'till its incursion [wrong appostrophy]

i do~!

Depends if you truly feel that way. I, personally enjoyed reading it.

i thought it was neat

I like it.The third and fourth lines are my fave.

i think it should be like a deadly snake.
who cares.
i like it!

why do you sound so mad but nice poem
keep up the good work

wow, that's really good. i like the whole idea of a snake and everything. nice job!

I absolutly LOVE your poem its so true how love is venomous.
you should write more and make a book of poems i would so buy it!

I did truly enjoy it and felt a natural cadence to the lines.

Only two things stuck out, and they certainly did NOT make this poem bad. This poem is insightful, but the two things, first: "opaque" seems to come out of no-where, it still works and sounds great as a ending line.

Second: the flower should be mentioned in the other two stanzas or lost from the second. It sorta stands out from the poem and has no relationship to the love being venomous.

However, it does stand out and so perhaps THAT is the core of the poem? The delicate nature that is so easily used up?

Once again great structure and writing.

Like the above poster said it's 'till its incursion but other then that it sounds like you're been hurt. I'm sorry.

i see anger in it