A second poem for Saturday. A partial rewrite. Do u like it.?

Question:"final embrace"

Pour yourself on top and in me,
Our time approaches and I sigh.
What danger lies across your border,
Let's dance until the music dies.

You lift me up above yourself,
Above the ghost lake of your mind.
Arise from slumber wrapped in my arms,
Your beauty's sapped the strength from me.

In the skies we dance through stars,
Romantic tastes feed our desire.
We burn together from our lust,
One final embrace, just me and you.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "final embrace"

Pour yourself on top and in me,
Our time approaches and I sigh.
What danger lies across your border,
Let's dance until the music dies.

You lift me up above yourself,
Above the ghost lake of your mind.
Arise from slumber wrapped in my arms,
Your beauty's sapped the strength from me.

In the skies we dance through stars,
Romantic tastes feed our desire.
We burn together from our lust,
One final embrace, just me and you.

This is very dreamy, very nice, musical and enchanting. Who is this lucky lady you dedicate this piece of work, Dark Master Steve? Good style, no dark thing in it. Standing ovation.

I like it.
Nice work:)

it's really good =]
sounds like something out of a poetry book.

Very good poem. B+ Too bad it's about sex and mushy love. You need to find more symbols for what they are doing as well as each other.

It was good to read something about dark romance on a bright shiny spring morning. Now I can go tend my newly planted belladonna and hemlock seedlings, and work the soil for my mandrake and datura. A crow came and sat on my gate yesterday, trying to steal a peace sign that I made from the roots of my dead tree; but when I kept bugging him, trying to get him to say "nevermore" he gave up and flew away with a resonate "caw." Now I am going to give him the peace sign as recompense for my annoying behavior.

I will always love everything you write and I hate to go against the textbook affirmations and all,
but I hope you never lose your enchantment with the dark and unmentionable side of your psyche. I have my place in this world a bit easier now; I am actually being helped instead of just enabled, so I have had more time to make observations while in my WISE mind (see dbtselfhelp.com) and that has in no way made me want to be "saved" or "rehabilitated" or anything else except for this: I love my life and I am going to write dirges and legends and the true story of what happens in Las Vegas... hell, maybe they will make that one a reality show...
b c n u, SB, and I would like a response PLEASE when I e-mail you!

Exceptional!

This is a really great poem' short but great.With your poetry' even the shorter poem are fantastic.

I liked it alot.

this is interesting......interesting....that is al i can say.....interesting...........
~Hara Kantana

Yeah, I like this one, a last hug, and adios.