Random poem of mine of mine that I would like some comments on it?

Question:Mirror-mirror on the wall
show me what you see
if you really reflect it all
show every piece of me

behind my eyes, behind my smile
deep into my soul
linger for a little while
show me all you know

not just a figure standing here
reveal all that's inside
show me, even though I fear
here and now, it's time

show:
the bruised and battered place in me
the piece that just can't cope
the part that longs to be set free
the side where life's a joke

the innocence hiding behind the sin
the adult inside the child
the heart that won't let anyone in
the piece of me that's mild

the place in me that's always red
the part that's forever blue
the side that follows what is said
the piece that's always confused

the place in me that thinks I'm right
the part that knows I'm wrong
the side that's bloated up with pride
the piece that can't go on

the coward inside the fighter
the genius next to the dumb
the part that's drunk with laughter
the side that shies from fun

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Mirror-mirror on the wall
show me what you see
if you really reflect it all
show every piece of me

behind my eyes, behind my smile
deep into my soul
linger for a little while
show me all you know

not just a figure standing here
reveal all that's inside
show me, even though I fear
here and now, it's time

show:
the bruised and battered place in me
the piece that just can't cope
the part that longs to be set free
the side where life's a joke

the innocence hiding behind the sin
the adult inside the child
the heart that won't let anyone in
the piece of me that's mild

the place in me that's always red
the part that's forever blue
the side that follows what is said
the piece that's always confused

the place in me that thinks I'm right
the part that knows I'm wrong
the side that's bloated up with pride
the piece that can't go on

the coward inside the fighter
the genius next to the dumb
the part that's drunk with laughter
the side that shies from fun

I am a published poet and I have to tell you this is really good. Someone said it did not have to rhyme and that is true but all the poems I won awards for did rhyme and I have so many plaques on my wall for best poems and a new book coming out this fall so rhyming poems do get a lot of recognition because there are so many poems these days that don't rhyme that it's an award winning poem when they do if they make sense. There is only one thing you should change. After "not just a figure standing here " you need to put "reveal all that is inside" not the word that's because it throws the flow of the poem off in that stanza. The rest is really good. It is the best poem I have read on here tonight and you should keep writing poetry. Even if you make all your poems rhyme as long as they make sense. Good Job. And I don't tell that to just anyone.

WOW this is really good *applause*

This is a very beautiful and creative piece of art!

I would repeat the first verse again at the very end of your poem.-- nevermind, you just edited and did that.

Awesome!

dang thats deep, pretty good

Wow, you have talent. GREAT JOB!!!

pretty good.
im not sure how i can help you improve on it though since its already good.

THAT WAS AMAZING.
you really know your stuff.
I could physically imagine that.
WOW.

i like the words but you should arrange the in a different way so when you read it, it sounds more fluent with a more consistent ryhming pattern

I like, I like :)

Pretty good, hun. My only advice to you would be that not all poems have to rhyme. Remember that, actually most of the best ones don't. I think this one could be really great, it just needs a bit of editing.... Keep writing!

Those are really good. I am very impressed

It is deffinately a special skill to be able to rhyme, make sense and be so deep and vivid. Congratulations, you have many special skills here.

Keep writing.

I like it. You have a gift.

The mirror sits, it has a name
It shows me every part
Of mind, of soul, of spirit...and of course, of heart.

It sees the thing I really did
It also sees intent.
It sees what I was meant to be...and how it has been bent.

The parts of me that live but once
The parts that never end.
The mirrors nature, it is light...the mirrors name is Friend.

This is very good and flows so well. It seems to be almost two poems but the addition seems to tie it together. I love the contrasts in your character. It is very insightful

A very easily read piece that reveals ones inners spread on the canvas for all to see a life well lived without self praise Well done.

I like it, it's very good.
Nice work:)

That was amazing. I really liked it.

that rocked. woo hoo!

Wow. That was stunning! I have nothing more to say, except - bravo, encore, keep writing, and God bless!

YOUR POEM ROCKS, IT'S REALLY GOOD