A short poem but pretty deep. Do you enjoy this one.?

Question:"the need"

This quest, this pain together,
condemned we stand as one.
Sweet agony you tempt me,
my lust it comes undone.
I want, I need, I bleed for you,
all of my words are true.
Sweet hell it now surrounds me,
my life turned black and blue.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "the need"

This quest, this pain together,
condemned we stand as one.
Sweet agony you tempt me,
my lust it comes undone.
I want, I need, I bleed for you,
all of my words are true.
Sweet hell it now surrounds me,
my life turned black and blue.

hmmmm....for some strange reason this doesn't bring marriage to my mind. This brings some struggle between a person and a non-living source. Maybe substance abuse. I think if it concerned marriage it would take more words than this to tell the tale!

I'm not sure. maybe. yeah i like it. It sounds like marriage or at least the way my dad put it. the part about pain and sweet hell.

yes....

Better then mine that i just submited

Trans Am man

Love this.....I quote best poem i have ever laid eyes on!

Deep but predictable. Sometimes the full potential of a poem is constricted by scheme. I really like the emotion in your words, but sometimes you should let them create themselves, instead of forcing them into rhyme scheme. A great poem doesn't have to rhyme.

I liked it.

Not at all. The concept is boring and the grammar appalling.

This poem can have so many meanings. For me it brought back some sad memories from a past relationship that wasn't very good.

But it's great!

Not quite as good as the last one, but not bad.

i like this one! and it's short too!
~hara Kantana

I like your poem. I understand 'this quest, this pain together'.

i wouldn't go as far to say i enjoyed it. it is excellently written and it suggest someones marriage. but its neither really dark or blissfully enlightening, so it doesn't move me.