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Position:Home>Poetry> A new poem from my heart?Question:Meanwhile Written By Semper Fi Reborn Hear I am Standing in the world's greatest Wondering what our fate is Looking at costs skyrocket While inflation is a drought Sent to dry up yours and my pockets While fools Are turning red Over the hate and stupidity That some idiotic preacher said Same government of free cheese Are feeding fear and propaganda While the housing market falls to it's knees And the economy can't crawl Almost a million foreclosures And Bush doesn't care at all New Orleans in shambles Deadly trailers Weak levees I guess FEMA likes to gamble But they stink at dice So where's the free cheese? New Orleans is over run by mice Meanwhile you got McCain Singing out of tune Praising Bush Promising more of the same Another hundred years? Of what? Flag draped coffins Dead sons and daughters Endless family tears? But you're worried about a statement? Pretty soon the country's poor Won't even know what a State meant Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Meanwhile Written By Semper Fi Reborn Hear I am Standing in the world's greatest Wondering what our fate is Looking at costs skyrocket While inflation is a drought Sent to dry up yours and my pockets While fools Are turning red Over the hate and stupidity That some idiotic preacher said Same government of free cheese Are feeding fear and propaganda While the housing market falls to it's knees And the economy can't crawl Almost a million foreclosures And Bush doesn't care at all New Orleans in shambles Deadly trailers Weak levees I guess FEMA likes to gamble But they stink at dice So where's the free cheese? New Orleans is over run by mice Meanwhile you got McCain Singing out of tune Praising Bush Promising more of the same Another hundred years? Of what? Flag draped coffins Dead sons and daughters Endless family tears? But you're worried about a statement? Pretty soon the country's poor Won't even know what a State meant This is a 'good' critique of this poem...not one 'against' the poem. You were way too angry/disgusted when you wrote it. The best political poems are not desultory or 'insulting'....mainly, they are very dry humor...making fun of the situation, but in terms the reader can both laugh at and empathize with, at the same time. You are an outstanding poet! Write a political poem about anger, not while angry. Would you write a poem while drowning, or write one about drowning? its good n very true.keep it up Don't quit your day job. true So heartfelt, and frighteningly true. This has the power of conviction in every line. The ending is especially potent. Very well written. Thank you. I like it! Consider this revision... Looking at costs skyrocket While the drought of inflation sears the land and dries up our pockets Well done my friend well done....; ) This is not one of your best poems, probably because you're more interested in the subject matter than the poetry itself. I suggest that you rework it a bit after you've become less emotional about the subject. I'll be happy to read a rewrite of the poem and comment on it then. This is excellent! I am of a different opinion from the others - I like to feel the anger and frustration that the poet is feeling. I consider it a very successful poem when this happens. And it happened... Semp, This is looking at things the way that it could possibly be if our freedoms are taken away. Our land it suffers in this condition No political solution for our free volition All have been robbed for what has occurred the free press can't even say a word. Oh what is happening we can't say for sure What has happened on our freedom shores? We must trust the Lord and go to prayer but know that with us, he's always there. Nothing happens that he can't receive glory Lord prepare your saints to tell your story For if need be we'll die for our God and King then many into his kingdom he will bring the days are evil but God's in control They can kill our bodies but not our souls. Heaven's our home were just passing through A welcome reception is waiting for you. Wow Semper Fi i absolutely loved this poem as it was great and right to the bone with pure honesty about what is going on in our country and the world.Yes McCain is a bush wanna be and they are twins in their actions' and the poor people from new-Orleans almost all died as they waited for water ' housing and food and were not in a third world country were in the USA.. well said My Brother and i wish we had more people like you to speak for the poor' and the family's home;less and the people who got sick from fema's new trailers' the ones that took ys to get.Here's a star Semper and you deserve a gold star for you kindness and your compassion and your strong Faith.in God.' and always putting your hand out to others when we needed a friend.Thanks My Friend. |