A ROUGH draft of writings,,,a lesson to be learned,comments??

Question:"DOLPHIN"

Sleekness blue-grey
Swimming a swimmers dance
In a sea of coral green

In pods we live togather
With open fins we welcome
Strays of our own

so we dance
so we fly,
horses of the sea

and yet you wonder why
why we smile,
a smile so free __

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "DOLPHIN"

Sleekness blue-grey
Swimming a swimmers dance
In a sea of coral green

In pods we live togather
With open fins we welcome
Strays of our own

so we dance
so we fly,
horses of the sea

and yet you wonder why
why we smile,
a smile so free __

I like this. Now I know why dolphins smile =)

the last part if iffy but the rest is great!

xx

To me the last part kind of contradicts the first of it.
Nice work:)

It's interesting how the ending of this poem was left hanging, undefined.

This is really an interesting and thoughtful rough draft. The imagery in the first three stanzas is beautiful. I think the question posed in the fourth stanza could be clearer...Maybe something like "Somehow still you wonder why" . And then use the sentiment "a lesson to be learned" as the final sentence or add another stanza, perhaps? I am just throwing in my two cents. The poem is really lovely. Thank you.