An obviously bad day. This is called "requiem" How is this.?

Question:"requiem"

I've lost all my faith in pain,
Along with joy and love.
Honesty, just a joke,
But my anger is devine.

An empty heart breeds hatred,
No more malice in my soul.
I'm cursed until the die I drop,
Consigned to misery.

The past has taught me nothing,
But the failure of my pain.
Bone by bone, brick by brick,
Ruined is my sorry name.

This is all I've ever been,
All I have ever known.
An escalating horror show,
A nightmare for my soul.

If only I could save myself,
I'd take my own damn life.
Dig my grave so peacefully,
I know I'll die alone.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "requiem"

I've lost all my faith in pain,
Along with joy and love.
Honesty, just a joke,
But my anger is devine.

An empty heart breeds hatred,
No more malice in my soul.
I'm cursed until the die I drop,
Consigned to misery.

The past has taught me nothing,
But the failure of my pain.
Bone by bone, brick by brick,
Ruined is my sorry name.

This is all I've ever been,
All I have ever known.
An escalating horror show,
A nightmare for my soul.

If only I could save myself,
I'd take my own damn life.
Dig my grave so peacefully,
I know I'll die alone.

It's like you can read my mind. I love this poem, i've had a horrible day, and i feel like crap.

It's great...

a little disturbing...

As grave as so; ageless, eerie, ail.

I like it, my favorite lines are...
"An escalating horror show,
A nightmare for my soul."

The ending (the last stanza!)...can use work for that end of poem rap up that has more of a "OOMF!"

good job on writing a poem to express your feelings and frustrations...it is so therapeutic...from the tone of you poem and its theme...i been there, and felt that...so i know where your coming from...when it rains it pours, but i hope you have better days...have a good one!

It's kinda emoish dark, and requiem is not all about darkness and depression, instead what is the essential of the requiem itself, there are a lot of unnecessary word twist that actually didn't fit one and another. the last part was really weak. but, you definitely have great vocabulary and knowledge in creating unusual sentence.

cheers!

Some of the lines in this write are contradictory i.e An empty heart breeds hatred. No more malice in my soul" also "If only I could save myself. I'd take my own damn life". It consists of prose and rhyme, which of itself is not a good combination and becomes confusing.
Your poem needs to be much more orderly to convey to the reader the state your soul is in.
All of this may seen disheartening to you, but remember we are all hear to learn how to write poetry. I am sure that you have done better than this entry.

Robert

My day...
it was a strange day.....
like a rollercoaster....
a moody one at that....
one second i'm so doggone happy the next i'm sitting, isolated in my own thoughts...
trapped in my brain.....
i try so hard to smile each day but it starts to disappear when i see him...
i still need to smile....
i cant let my guard down....
no one can ever see who i am...who i REALLY am.....
~Hara Kantana

Your good :)

Believe it or not, we have another expert in our mist. I for one am not here to learn, but to share on the odd occasion that I find something new to write of. That and to read poetry. Some good, some better, and occassionally I find something that is unreadable. Write on my friend, If we were all perfect, no one would want to write anymore. You had good flow and rhythm in this, although the meter was a bit jumbled, switching from iambic to trochaic and back a few times. It still worked well, I just had to reread some of the lines for it to fit in the tempo I had set.

Dang, now I sound like some kinda expert.... Duh!!. later.

Wow, this one I like a lot.
Very nice work:)