How's this sound so far..?

Question:No original purpose.. it just somehow got scribbled down. How does it sound so far?

She's not that kind of girl
that she's mistakened to be
Maybe someone would realize
if they had the time to see

People pass on the whispers
The tears swelling up her eyes
If just one person would believe
The truth in her denies

Lost in a sight of fog
The view of unknown everywhere
She cradles in her darkness
Unwilling to bear

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: No original purpose.. it just somehow got scribbled down. How does it sound so far?

She's not that kind of girl
that she's mistakened to be
Maybe someone would realize
if they had the time to see

People pass on the whispers
The tears swelling up her eyes
If just one person would believe
The truth in her denies

Lost in a sight of fog
The view of unknown everywhere
She cradles in her darkness
Unwilling to bear

Not knowing how to bear might be good as that last line but I LOVE it. It sounds like me! I always feel like everyone is judging everything I do. The way i wife and sister and mother and daughter and aunt. It makes me very very sometimes close to uncontrollably sad. I try so very hard, but know one will take five min to listen and see where im comming from. They do on occasion but it would be nice if I had a constant to speak to with out feeling like im being judged. And who will that be? So far it God but mostly I feel like he judges me the most but he takes the time to get to know me and how i really feel and what my true intentions are. Ya know? Oh my, im so sorry for dumping, see I need some one! I love it thus far, it has hit home with me!

it's sad :( keep writing though, it's definetly off to a good start.

I like what you have so far.

stunning. it took my breath away, i was waiting... to see how far in depth the next line was. it was so breathtaking, unbearabley breathtaking. you should keep it up. i?poetry. yours is beautiful.

it is good keep to the point in poems that is key.

Take that word "mistakened" out. Sounds like someone you are observing and you are wondering about the real lovely person she really is if only people got to know her better. Its a nice attitude to have.

I really like it.
Hope the read the rest.
Very nice work:)