Another poem i would love any type of feedback on.?

Question:fantasy

walking though the dark
blinded by the shadows

my life an unobtainable fantasy
a passing dream, a sleeping being

let it go, watch it float away
i was no longer trapped

free and light dancing though the night
when morning came i saw the damage

destroyed beyond repair,
shattered like glass, a china doll dropped

my reality changed from day to night,
dust cleared from my eyes

i saw the horrow, the agony,
and i longed for my fantasy

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: fantasy

walking though the dark
blinded by the shadows

my life an unobtainable fantasy
a passing dream, a sleeping being

let it go, watch it float away
i was no longer trapped

free and light dancing though the night
when morning came i saw the damage

destroyed beyond repair,
shattered like glass, a china doll dropped

my reality changed from day to night,
dust cleared from my eyes

i saw the horrow, the agony,
and i longed for my fantasy

Good, fits the title.

horrow, please proofread your work things like this destroy the joy.

Keep on tripping.
There is no immaturity in this work.

Care in the work one turns out is not a function of age but of craftsmanship.

I think it is a wonderful "start" to a beautiful poem. By that I mean I think it needs just another stanza or two to tell the reader what caused the chaos that you woke to. No great detail is needed, just a little info so that the reader is still left not knowing all, but can still make conclusions in his own mind. I think your poem is really good though. Thanks for sharing.

i'm a harsh critic and a smart student at UCSD. And I think this is really good--i have no idea if your other poems are up to the same standard but if they're anything like this one i would consider getting a professional to read through them.

The poem really leaves me wondering what could this terrible event be--you leave it up to the reader to identify with. good job.

good