Anyone Would like to read more of my poems?

Question:Pretty Picture
Spinning rooms
eyes a blur
losing control
of this I am sure.
Glass is broken
all over the floor
no one will know
for I shut the door.
Pretty pictures
all in a row
why I do this
I do not know.

This time I will
fill it all in
each and every picture
to the very end.
The color that I am using
is dark crimson red
on my palette I have plenty
won't run out until I'm dead.
You walk in
see a smile on my face
look at my arms and legs
at all the pictures that I traced.
No need to call the doctor
I've ran out of color
my pretty picture is finished
better call the coroner.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Pretty Picture
Spinning rooms
eyes a blur
losing control
of this I am sure.
Glass is broken
all over the floor
no one will know
for I shut the door.
Pretty pictures
all in a row
why I do this
I do not know.

This time I will
fill it all in
each and every picture
to the very end.
The color that I am using
is dark crimson red
on my palette I have plenty
won't run out until I'm dead.
You walk in
see a smile on my face
look at my arms and legs
at all the pictures that I traced.
No need to call the doctor
I've ran out of color
my pretty picture is finished
better call the coroner.

It sounds like a painting done in blood. a bit macabre

wowee

mmmm..mm

VERY TRUE

nice. :)

Festive! I seem to feel it's celebration

could be a song... but it needs a bit of polishing- mostly in the end..... so... I guess I like it.....

This has merit and with some editing would be an excellent effort. I am not a big fan of the cut and bleed, etc. but the flow works. Try to keep some semblence on syllables per line, it usually helps the internal rhyme of the poem.

Nice concept for a poem.

While I certainly hope you are not considering any type of suicide, I found the poem as entertaining as a good movie! I was hooked from the beginning and enjoyed the ride!

You don't need the last two lines though! "I've ran (run) out of color" is the pefect end to the poem. "Better call the coroner" is overkill (no pun intended) and is a little insulting to the intelligence of your audience. We get it by the time we read "I've ran out of color" and leaving it there interrupts the rhyme pattern in a good way because death leaves things undone. "I've ran out of color" is a great line and provides a brilliant finish to the poem! It leaves the reader constructing the obvious outcome for himself which adds to the shock value or seriousness nature of the poem.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!

DO NOT KILL THYSELF!

Cutting is so sad. But I guess it's better to write about it then actually do it.

ohhhhh for sad......

Wow I love it!
Very nice:)