Anyone Care to Read my Poem?

Question:Oh God, not another ******* beautiful day. Every night I think about how many ways I screwed up so many lives. And then I realize how much I don't want to live anymore. I should think that if people were to get the wrong impression of me, the one to which you so eloquently refer, it wouldn't be the wrong impression in the slightest.

There is suffering at the birth of a child just as there is suffering at the birth of a star. For once, there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes; a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream; a land where all things are perfect and poisonous. What i'am here is a dreamer. Someone completely out of touch with reality. Now i know The first thing God created was the journey, then came doubt, and nostalgia. I want to get sold and find a family that I can be a part of.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Oh God, not another ******* beautiful day. Every night I think about how many ways I screwed up so many lives. And then I realize how much I don't want to live anymore. I should think that if people were to get the wrong impression of me, the one to which you so eloquently refer, it wouldn't be the wrong impression in the slightest.

There is suffering at the birth of a child just as there is suffering at the birth of a star. For once, there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes; a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream; a land where all things are perfect and poisonous. What i'am here is a dreamer. Someone completely out of touch with reality. Now i know The first thing God created was the journey, then came doubt, and nostalgia. I want to get sold and find a family that I can be a part of.

very deep......you sound like a person i would like to sit down and talk to some time.....you sound interesting....keep things rolling and have fun.

coo

omg wow that was great i swear you followed me around and copied how i felt lol

That was really cool. really oridginal nd kinda sad.
some bits were a lil emo but i guess thats the point. ur really talented anyhow. ?

great...

Well I read it and although a bit dark I thought it was very good

Very soulful. I can hear what you're feeling. Very clearly! Great poem! 8-)

love it....

I understand what you are saying you had a sad beginning in life and now you want a new one some start a new life in the worst of conditions others sink like quicksand but you are a fighter its up to you to figure things out. Alot of people would say the hair would tell indifference of the world in other times way back when it was a warriors haircut. The rebellious mad side of yourself gets you tired just trying to keep up the walls of defense to protect what identity you have left and mad because people wont give you a chance. Things within you have to change like the girl who told me no one will give me the chance the same girl was like you went to college and now she is a RN at a hospital she is married and with a family this is just what I see in your hurt alone spirit I pray for you to have a chance and to change and bring some positive things to your life amen.

:)
why don't you look at it this way: after the suffering comes the star.
not: before the star comes the suffering..........

Sofia Coppola is watching you!

To me, this is prose, well stated, but prose. As a side note, never apologize for things that you cannot control. Learn from those experiences and move forward. We are all on our individual journeys. Challenge yourself to take smaller slices of your experiences and write about those. Try using the technique of sparseness to reinforce the sentiment or message. Emily Dickinson was one of the best at that technique. Free verse has it's place also. You will be better at your art for trying different styles. As I said before, you have the emotion, work on making the message more succeint and original. An example is the line: I want to get sold. Powerful, provocative and a great image.

WELCOME TO THE YAHOO FAMILY!!!!!!

Grab a seat and set a spell!

Very good.

Nan daro ka na!