Poem I wrote during class today, not great, it probably sucks, what do you think

Question:I am Nobody

I climb onto the rooftop,
and scream out my pain,
the wind starts to blow,
it begins to rain.
I fall on my knees,
dazed and confused,
thinking about what I have to lose.
No one would miss me,
no one would care,
Why should they?
It's like i'm not even here.
I guess i just don't exist,
theres no one to hug,
nobody to kiss,
no one to see me cry,
no one to dry my tears,
no one to ask me why,
i'm standing way up here,
looking down at the world,
i'll leave behind me soon,
I take one last glimpse at the street,
then I look up at the moon,
thinking of all the friends I don't have,
of the family that i won't have,
of the kids who tease me,
of the adults who ignore me,
or the teachers who do nothing,
of the parents who think i'm nothing.
So i jump, and as I fall,
I can finally forget it all,
I feel so happy, like i'm flying,
and as i hit the asphalt,
I can't help but smileing...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I am Nobody

I climb onto the rooftop,
and scream out my pain,
the wind starts to blow,
it begins to rain.
I fall on my knees,
dazed and confused,
thinking about what I have to lose.
No one would miss me,
no one would care,
Why should they?
It's like i'm not even here.
I guess i just don't exist,
theres no one to hug,
nobody to kiss,
no one to see me cry,
no one to dry my tears,
no one to ask me why,
i'm standing way up here,
looking down at the world,
i'll leave behind me soon,
I take one last glimpse at the street,
then I look up at the moon,
thinking of all the friends I don't have,
of the family that i won't have,
of the kids who tease me,
of the adults who ignore me,
or the teachers who do nothing,
of the parents who think i'm nothing.
So i jump, and as I fall,
I can finally forget it all,
I feel so happy, like i'm flying,
and as i hit the asphalt,
I can't help but smileing...

The poem exposes your feelings very well. I love the last two lines, As I hit the asphalt, I can't help but smile. That is the way I would word it also. Simplify. Sometimes fewer words have more impact. I love this poem. Sounds like me. LOL

well, first of all, if u want people to like ur poems, when u beat ur self up saying your poem sucks, then it kinda of takes the beauty out of it right. All i am saying is self cofidence can go along way

but the poem is unique no less

that was a beautiful poem!! and if anyone calls it emo tell them to stop using labels because life has no label.
^_^ you should submit this on poetry.com or DeviantArt.com

I think with just a few changes it could be very good.
Nice work:)

i really like it
i know how u fell
fell like and outcast thinking no one cares and fell like no one understands

my advice is to rewrite it. I liked the beginning but it changes tempo too much for me to give it a higher rating than say 50 out of 100. With some work it could turn out really good. Hope this helps.

Me likey!!!! I kinda like it. Good job!

Hard cheese, old chap, you are breaking my heart!