Another depressing dark poem. how do you like it.?

Question:"finale"

I never even noticed, the pouring soaking rain,
As I slice my slender wrist, a tiny razor blade.
The only thing that I noticed, blinding, searing pain,
Last thing I remember, shades of brown and green.

Dark and pregnant storm clouds, fill the leaden sky,
Deep inside my heart is filled,with awful fatal hate.
I drop down too my aching knees, breaking down to cry,
Screaming at the sky above, " I accept my brutal fate".

I know I'll never see again, the sun come slowly rise,
I lie down for the final time, what casket is my size.
I curl up and wait for it, my final breath and dread.
Now that it's finally over, My life it is over, finally I'm free.

As I drift off even deeper, I hear your piercing scream,
As my dream fades off to light, I no longer even bleed.
Did I not suffer enough, for you, my ever sadistic queen,
My life is gone and finished, just me and my black steed.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "finale"

I never even noticed, the pouring soaking rain,
As I slice my slender wrist, a tiny razor blade.
The only thing that I noticed, blinding, searing pain,
Last thing I remember, shades of brown and green.

Dark and pregnant storm clouds, fill the leaden sky,
Deep inside my heart is filled,with awful fatal hate.
I drop down too my aching knees, breaking down to cry,
Screaming at the sky above, " I accept my brutal fate".

I know I'll never see again, the sun come slowly rise,
I lie down for the final time, what casket is my size.
I curl up and wait for it, my final breath and dread.
Now that it's finally over, My life it is over, finally I'm free.

As I drift off even deeper, I hear your piercing scream,
As my dream fades off to light, I no longer even bleed.
Did I not suffer enough, for you, my ever sadistic queen,
My life is gone and finished, just me and my black steed.

That was dark and full of emotion. You are an amazing poet. I loved the personification. I had to read it twice because I thought the poem was so well written. Kudos!

i like your poems but can u explain to me why all of them are so depressing. i know sometimes to be very poetic u have to be deep but sometimes people misinterpret that and think sad ( that's what my friends and many other people i know do.) i don't mean to sound childish or rude. :(

after i thought about for a few minutes i came to a thought that maybe sad, depressing poems are your style. sorry if i sounded nosy or critical or whatever u want to call it. i was just curious. i suppose every poet has his or her own style. mine is the total opposite of your style but sometimes it can be depressing too. keep writing your poems are brilliant.

it's a beautifully dark poem. mysterious, yet revealing. i love this poem, just as i allways love them. lovely. --lost poet--

That was mazing. Once again you have outdone yourself. The feeling, the emotion, the images you created were all fabulous. Abselutly amazing. It made me want more!!!!1
10 out of 10
such a buetiful poem from what sounds like a tourtured soul

I found it all a bit melodramatic - besides, how can you have a black steed if you're dead? Why don't you try writing a poem that doesn't rhyme but just has rhythm? It'll free up your thoughts because you won't be limited to finding a word that rhymes all the time - you can find the word you really mean. Why not try writing a poem about something or someone that is beautiful and holds out the promise of something better, something to hang onto, something to light a candle in your mind??

wow, you are truly talented. I loved it, i read it over twice. props! :)

well i guess maybe half Awesome half boring (i mean by really bad)
depending how you get used to it. the raison im saying that is because that i thought the beginning was really so triffic awesome!!! but the ending it was really boring (i mean by really bad again) but the middle was sort of like both mixed together boring (i mean by really bad again!) and really really triffecly awesome!!! Well it was so stinky at the end but besides that it was totally awesome i feel bad from how much you typed for this question but im really proud of you for it and of how good it was im doing lots of typing to arent i!!!????

I think your poem is wonderful
I have read lots of them and I think you are very good
I was wondering though how many woman respond to your work and Lie about their age's in regard to the cami thing
And is there any certain woman or women you want to hear from most my friends and I are voting and we think that from responses we have read out of all your poems June s. seems to give the most flirty responses. are we picking right?
the poem you wrote for her had many different levels to it didn't it or are we reading more than is there?

Steve you are truely a gifted writer...so good in fact ...while reading 'finale' i actually became depressed ....and I mean that in a good way. It's a very tragic piece....coming from the perspective of one who has given up ...very emotional and eerily real.

Steve as always your poem is wonderful
it's like you can see inside my heart and are writing the words I only say in my head.
Glad to see Cami apologised to you
and as far as daddy's girl well
lets leave them wondering
great job again

this really is a dark poem, it's very good, but when you talk like that it makes me worry that it's all coming from your own heart and it worries me.

Yes, depressing, but well done. I like it, but today, I need cheering up. Thanks

Oh my, I didn't know you were in a raffle my friend!! hehe Oh, as for the poem...it is a very dark poem, but it has a starting point, builds to an apex, and then ends nicely. As for the black steed, doesn't every troubled soul ride off on a black steed? While a spirit ride off on a white one? My way of thinking anyway! Good poem, thanks for sharing.