Would you mind taking a look at my poem?

Question:Here I am sitting alone in cold darkness

Joy left behind by grief,

Your spite has brought me,

What remains is the cold-hearted existence

This resentment that I feel inside,

Has developed into beast,

Haunting me in my sleep,

Reminding me of all those painful memories,

I try hard to disregard,

But this rage I feel inside rapidly tries to bring the beast out of me,

I manage to fight it, holding it in,

But for how much longer

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Here I am sitting alone in cold darkness

Joy left behind by grief,

Your spite has brought me,

What remains is the cold-hearted existence

This resentment that I feel inside,

Has developed into beast,

Haunting me in my sleep,

Reminding me of all those painful memories,

I try hard to disregard,

But this rage I feel inside rapidly tries to bring the beast out of me,

I manage to fight it, holding it in,

But for how much longer

it sounds like you are writing your fillings down really well and sometimes it makes us fill better ,I think if you put it away and then go back to it at a later date you will say dam I have done gone over that and be able to laugh at once how you felt about something that does not hurt you no more .

IT'S A GOOD POEM WITH POERFUL WORDS BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BIT MORE INTERESTING IF U HAD TRIED 2 MAKE IT RHYME

its really powerful and i like it . im with usa today and i would just love to have you on my show make up your mind and then contact me. thanks so much

mark delondio

your scary

Sounds good..get help tho, (if you need it)..find a therapist that you like.. :)

good

NOT GOOD

The words are good but you need to add more too it. It is too straightforward and makes the meaning dull. It seems like a poem that anyone could write about the end of a sour relationship. Make it more hard to decipher and more versatile.

Well, I must say you are in touch with your feelings. Just remember "This to shall pass". You have talent to write beautiful love poems- Love in relationships, Family Love, and Being true to Love. Switch gears.

thr s no point at bein so frustrated actually u kno..
try out smthngs worth doing..lyk..
gvn tym to kno urslf..closing ur eyes n thnkn wat exactly is makin u so upset..n thn u cn change it..i mean rectify it..u kno.. lyf is too short to live.. dnt waste an important part of it brooding!!