What Do you All Think Of This Poem i Wrote?

Question:Little Shelly Mckeef late one night
was sent to bed without a bite.
Her parents stomped their foots and said, "up to bed you go."
But Little Shelly McKeef stomped harder and screamed no no no!

Locked in her room, with dolls left and right
the beams from the full moon provided the only glimpse of light.
Pacing around her room, hands tearing at her head
hmmm she wondered what it would be like if mommy and daddy were dead?

She heard locks being locked and chains being chained
"There you go honey" said Mrs. Mckeef, "You stay in there until you are no longer insane."
"Once you learn your mistake and know what to say,
then we will let you outside to run around and play."

Little Shelly McKeef crawled onto her bed and began to cry tears of sadness and pain, Which buried the sound of the window being trickled by droplets of rain.
She cried for what seem like hours, yet

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Little Shelly Mckeef late one night
was sent to bed without a bite.
Her parents stomped their foots and said, "up to bed you go."
But Little Shelly McKeef stomped harder and screamed no no no!

Locked in her room, with dolls left and right
the beams from the full moon provided the only glimpse of light.
Pacing around her room, hands tearing at her head
hmmm she wondered what it would be like if mommy and daddy were dead?

She heard locks being locked and chains being chained
"There you go honey" said Mrs. Mckeef, "You stay in there until you are no longer insane."
"Once you learn your mistake and know what to say,
then we will let you outside to run around and play."

Little Shelly McKeef crawled onto her bed and began to cry tears of sadness and pain, Which buried the sound of the window being trickled by droplets of rain.
She cried for what seem like hours, yet

Well, I think you mean feet, stomp their feet, but you didn't end the poem or did you end it to make us go a little bonkers trying to understand what was going on? LOL, that's quite a trick to play.

wowwwwww........thats rly deep but its good so far make sure that you post the rest when you are done!

..its...creeepy, makes me want to cry, =[

I think its wonderful~
-Sammy

good

nice dude

is the poem describing a girl with mental problem? well, me in the girl's shoes felt bit confuse about whats happening around me. Did i interpret the poem correctly?

Quite touching! :)

Sounds like rap with a decided African American rhythm. Did you finish it? It sounds like it should continue.

I like it. Hope to read the rest.
Very nice work:)