Another wednesday poem, lots of them today. how do u like it.?

Question:"confused"

I cleave cross deep in my arm,
Just my penance to survive.
Slicing cross my throbbing wrist,
Red spots criss cross my white floor.

The blood I know will always come,
I cut myself, release a flood.
Deep and dark my scarlet blood,
My life so lonely so damn cold.

A message from my God he sends,
A nasty cut and blistered burns.
All this seems like so much fun,
I am so lost and so confused.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "confused"

I cleave cross deep in my arm,
Just my penance to survive.
Slicing cross my throbbing wrist,
Red spots criss cross my white floor.

The blood I know will always come,
I cut myself, release a flood.
Deep and dark my scarlet blood,
My life so lonely so damn cold.

A message from my God he sends,
A nasty cut and blistered burns.
All this seems like so much fun,
I am so lost and so confused.

deep glad i'm not the only one writing about such touchy topics and being critized for it. good luck to you

OOUUCCHHH! Boy, I can feel that cut! I hope this isn't the way your life really is. How can it seem like fun?

this hurt...
it's a topic that's making me twitch recently...but i will *try* to overcome that to comment on the poem.

1) is the repetition of "cross" in the first verse intentional? if so...i'm not sure it works for me.
2) i would change "blood" in 2/1 to red...not sure why, i just would...but it's your poem.
3) i feel as though "your God" appears very suddenly, for no real reason...just a comment.

hope that was useful...

*wonders how it feels when cut* *tries* lol jk jk...i liked it! i've written two poems yesterday!!! yay! lol i'm getting better...i'm gonna try to write more....

This poem describes such a terrible depression... there are many things in life to be thankful for, though...