Does the poem I wrote make sence?

Question:So pretty much i'm just wondering if my poem sounds good.
It's a freeverse. Could you tell me what you think it's about? I need to know if it makes sence.

Thank-you so much!

Remember Me Forever

Your face is white.
As you lie on the floor beside your bed,
You look up at me, I look down on you.
There's no need to scream,
Don't worry, i'm your grandaughter.
Why don't you remember me?

Tears fall down my cheek.
My heart beating faster and faster from worry.
I call out to grandma,
she phones for help.

Why must they take you away
on the stretcher you lay?
Promise something, Grandpa,
Remember me forever.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: So pretty much i'm just wondering if my poem sounds good.
It's a freeverse. Could you tell me what you think it's about? I need to know if it makes sence.

Thank-you so much!

Remember Me Forever

Your face is white.
As you lie on the floor beside your bed,
You look up at me, I look down on you.
There's no need to scream,
Don't worry, i'm your grandaughter.
Why don't you remember me?

Tears fall down my cheek.
My heart beating faster and faster from worry.
I call out to grandma,
she phones for help.

Why must they take you away
on the stretcher you lay?
Promise something, Grandpa,
Remember me forever.

You have captured a moment and stopped time.
Good for you!. Your poem "Remember Me Forever" shines with love and compassion and fear, it makes total sense..

deep and tru i presume?? touching brought me to that moment but the last line felt a little out of place try to make it deeer

made me want to me cry

wow... awesome sad poem.. the only thing i would change is to say promise me something, grandpa instead of promise something, grandpa.. other than that really good poem..

Yes, it makes much sense, and it is very sad. But it's really beautiful and it shows your feelings. You express yourself well with poems, i do the same thing. good luck to you. =D

I'm telling everyone in poetry questions . . do not get a poem published by poetry.com, it's a scam for your money and they can take your poem. they will copyright it as their own.

OMG This is a great poem and i loved it so.It was really sad to think of those thoughts as i once did and see a loved one getting took out on a stretcher' not knowing if this will be the last good bye...Nice words' great poem.

You allow for thoughts to fit in between the words. This is good in a poem I think. There is urgency and action. You chose well to use free verse

yes it is a good poem, and to me it sounds like a person has wondered in on their grandpa after he has had a heart attack.